a LOST WORLD

Scientists in Papua New Guinea ventured into a remote volcanic crater and discovered a basically lost world, untouched by humans for 200,000 years. They found over 40 new species of animals, which is pretty incredible considering how small it feels the world is becoming. Maybe it's because I'm a nerd, but I got kind of excited when I read about this.

Cause when you're little and you learn about all the different animals of the world it's so fascinating, and now it seems like there's not a lot left to discover in the natural world.

But there was! The scientists found 14 new species of frogs, a new kind of bat and a GIANT RAT species! Word on the street is these rats are as big as cats. GROSS! They also apparently were not afraid of humans, which made the scientists believe this habitat really hasn't been touched by humans in the last 200,000 years.

Here are some photos of what they found (photos courtesy of The Guardian):


a fruit dove


the HUGE wooly rat!


common tube nosed bat


an endangered frog


Read the full article here.

funny looking animal of the week!

one of the biggest debates of all time

Did Dottie drop the ball on purpose?


I think so. Discuss, discuss...

Gmail server down - CRISIS

Yesterday for approximately one to two hours the gmail server was down. As a result, people could not sign on to check their mail or gchat. GASP.

The reaction to this was a little like when Michael Jackson died. I got a text message from my friend about it, an IM from my office mate, and someone actually walked up and asked me about it as well. People everywhere were freaking out. If gchat is down, how are you supposed to avoid doing work?

Thankfully, the server seemed to right itself after only about an hour of mild anxiety bordering on the verge of excruciating stress. We needed a gmail fix.

Yesterday we all learned a very important fact - gmail is like crack. And thank god it's back.

On an unrelated note: the apples from the organic Asian market taste so much better than the ones from Shop Rite.

badass looking animal of the week!

Is this polar bear eating the remains of a whale? Or some other giant creature? Either way, it's mouth is blood stained. That's pretty badass.

photo via National Geographic

it's possible to be polite and badass at the same time

71 year old Dawn Fraser, who is a four-time Olympic gold medalist for swimming, fought off a man who tried to rob her today. The best thing about it (besides the fact that she wasn't robbed), was what she had to say about the incident:

"He threatened my life and I got really annoyed about that and just grabbed him by the ear and the hair."

Cool as a cucumber.

heard it on a conference call

"The Internet connection's really spotty here."

- our client (an Internet service)

Funny looking animal of the week!

Allentown edition
(Mal's dog!)

the results are in!

Apparently if you Google search "dork nerd geek" the first link that appears is a test to let you know which one you are. I just wanted to know the difference between them, and now I know which I am!!!

I just took an online test to see if I was a Nerd, a Dork, or a Geek.

And it seems as if I am.... A NERD!

Here was my result: 52% Nerd, 26% Geek, 35% Dork. Making me a "Pure Nerd."

Take the test for yourself here.
(Don't worry you don't have to sign up for that dating site to get your result)

funny looking animal of the week!

funny signs from town hall protests

Via the Huffington Post.

Check them out here.

you know what he did?

twitter names. taken.

Today I got one step closer to signing up for Twitter. I JUST CAN'T STAY AWAY. But as I sat pondering what my username should be, I realized that if I typed something in, it would let me know if that name was available or not. This led me to become sidetracked, entering in absurd usernames and seeing if they were taken.

NOTE TO THE WORLD!
If you are thinking about joining Twitter, I apologize, because these usernames are already taken:

poop your pants
weiner
dbag
fishtacos
3some
cameltoe


These names, however, are available:

trolleater
dapeepee


Better hurry if you wanna get one of them, I hear they go fast.

hehe

workin' for the weekend...

Sheepwalking

Seth Godin talks about a behavior he calls "sheepwalking" on his blog and in his book "Tribes:"

"I define "sheepwalking" as the outcome of hiring people who have been raised to be obedient and giving them a braindead job and enough fear to keep them in line."

He talks about how people are made to act effectively as sheep, reporting to their jobs every day and just doing what is expected of them, staying completely within the boundaries already established in business. But what if these boundaries are really just limiting potential of employees, as well as the companies they work for?

But how can be combat the epidemic of sheepwalking? Godin has some ideas:

"Step one is to give the problem a name. Done. Step two is for anyone who sees themself in this mirror to realize that you can always stop. You can always claim the career you deserve merely by refusing to walk down the same path as everyone else just because everyone else is already doing it.

The biggest step, though, comes from anyone who teaches or hires. And that's to embrace non-sheep behavior, to reward it and cherish it. As we've seen just about everywhere there's been growth lately, that's where the good stuff happens."


Read the entire post on sheepwalking here. And check out Godin's book Tribes. It kind of made me feel the way I used to in college - like I really could be successful and do something I love...

why Adrian Beltre is on the DL .... again ...

Beltre was placed on the 15-day disabled list Thursday with an injured testicle, the Associated Press reports.

Spin: Guys, you might not want to read the details on this one. Beltre took a one-hopper to the groin area in the ninth inning Wednesday, yet managed to play out the remainder of the 14-inning game. However, he may now need surgery due to bleeding in the testicle, which would put him out indefinitely.

yeesh, sorry guy.

heard it babysitting

"wanna see what i made?"

shows me this little fish tank with plastic fish inside.

"those are REAL fake fish."

:)

funny looking animal of the week!

Bills lose first preseason matchup, look sharp.

Last night the Buffalo Bills took the field for their first preseason game of the year! And boy, did they not do well. Granted, your starters are only in there for 2 or 3 possessions, but in that time we managed to let the Titans score on a FAKE PUNT and throw an interception.

But the Buffalo News did highlight the silver lining of the outing nicely:

On the positive side, Terrell Owens caught two passes for 27 yards in a nine-play debut for the Bills, no Bills starting players sustained any injuries and the Bills' white throwback jerseys looked sharp.

I agree with the showing from TO being a good thing, it was nice to see him out there gettin' things done. But if the only bright side of our preseason game is the fact that we looked good in our uniforms, then I'm a little worried about this season. I mean, we can't wear those throwbacks every week. What will the redeeming quality of all our other losses be?

I guess I shouldn't be too worried. Because really, you can't really predict too much about a season from preseason game number one. Thank goodness.

And the Bills are going to the Super Bowl!

the Dr. Seuss you may not know...

Have you ever seen a Dr. Seuss art exhibit? They are pretty amazing - animations of wonderful creatures from his books, other illustrations you wouldn't think Dr. Seuss would do, and then these:








They are pretty wonderful I think. Enjoy.

security via Segue.

The security guard in front of our office rides a Segue. He wears a Security Guard outfit, military boots, and a bike helmet. Why does he need a Segue? It doesn’t really make him more intimidating, and the helmet must be annoying to wear all day. And let’s say someone is causing a ruckus and the security guard needs to step in. The amount of space he needs to cover is one block. That means even if he’s standing on one end of the block, and a ruckus starts to occur at the other end of the block, the amount of time it would take him to Segue over there isn’t significantly faster than how long it would take him to run. Especially since he would have to weave his Segue through all the pedestrians walking on the sidewalk.

I think he really wanted the Segue because his job was boring. Now instead of just standing outside all day, he gets to ride around on a Segue all day. And get paid for it. What the heck am I doing all the way up here on the 36th floor? I could totally be riding a Segue around in the sun and be getting paid for it.

And now for your pleasure, a Debbie Downer rant.

Wahhh wahhhh.

Today’s subject: Women who don’t know how to behave in the gym locker room.

Today in the locker room after my work out the ONE OTHER WOMAN in the room chose to use the locker directly next to me, both limiting my space and making me uncomfortable once she sat down on the bench and began eating some fruit out of a small Tupperware container as I dried off from my shower and changed. It was like she was at the movies, only instead of popcorn she had fruit, and instead of watching trailers she was getting a nice look at my rack. I wanted to say something to her, but she’s not the only guilty one.

Almost every day at the gym, these women are there. These women who for some reason like to hang out in the locker room. Most of the time the culprits are held up by some really, really important cell phone conversation. Like the day one woman, we’ll call her “Sally,” was sitting on a bench in the locker room talking on her phone when I arrived to work out. I changed, worked out, showered, changed back into my clothes and left the gym as Sally carried on her conversation. Sally, come on! If you have such an important, long telephone conversation, why do you want to do it in a room full of naked, sweaty women (and note to all the men reading this, I don’t think Sally was there for the show).

But Sally’s not the only one. So many people talk on their cell phones in the locker room it’s like a big phone booth. I get it if you’re saying “oh, well I just got to the gym, bye luv yaaazzzz” but if you’re having a 15 minute conversation, you should take it elsewhere, ladies.

Here are some simple rules about locker room etiquette:

1. If you know you are going to be on a long telephone call, don’t go to the gym. There are far better places to have a business or personal conversation than in the middle of a locker room – and it can’t be comfortable to sit on those benches for a long time.

2. If you think you’re going to need to eat something – do it before you’re in the locker room.

3. If you want to walk around naked, GO FOR IT GIRL. I just won’t be joining you.

4. If you are one of the only people in the locker room, choose a locker that doesn’t border one of the ones already being used.


I think if people follow these little tips, it will make for a much better changing experience for everyone involved.

up up and away!

via flickr

funny looking animal of the week!

Superbowls, guns, and sweatpants. Oh my.

Former Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress has been indicted on weapons charges that stemmed from the night he shot himself in the leg last year. Everything is looking down for Plax now. I mean at one point he caught the winning touchdown in a Super Bowl. Now he probably would trade that in for a Scott Norwood “Wide Right” than have to live with his current situation (well…maybe not quite).

Let’s take a look at all the things gone wrong in Plax’s life:

• Facing up to 3.5 years in jail
  
• Trading in a Giants jersey for a prison uni
  
• He shot himself in the leg
  
• He may go to jail for shooting himself in the leg
  

Let’s take a look at the reasons things have gone wrong:
Reason #3: he had a gun on him when he shouldn’t have.
Reason #2: he tucked said gun into his sweatpants.
Reason #1: he wore sweatpants to a club. Come on, Plax! Show some self respect. We know you can afford at least jeans.

Moral:
If carrying a gun in a club, do not rely on the elastic band of your sweatpants to keep it concealed.

beautiful

Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world - (song is Please don't go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

People love themselves.

Marketers must remember this. That is why viral Internet campaigns work so well when they include the viewer. For example, the “Elf Yourself” campaign from OfficeMax was WILDLY successful? But why? Is it because around the holidays people found a newfound affinity for buying office supplies? NO, I tell you! People love themselves. And they find it so amusing to cut out their heads and stick them on dancing elves.

But it’s not just elves that people like to see their heads on. There was the site where you could put yourself on the people dancing to the Scissor Sisters, a site where you can “Scrooge Yourself,” and most recently, a site where you can “Mad Men Yourself” (for an example of that, please refer to my previous post).

People not only enjoy these sites, but send their result to their friends, or post it on their Web page. Right now, two people I know have their Mad Men selves reppin’ them on Twitter, and my brother’s Mad Men dude is his Facebook picture. These sites have the power to be viral and powerful and get people talking.

And it’s all based on the fundamental theory that people love themselves. That’s why celebs Tweet, it’s why people Mad Men themselves, and it’s why people have to look in the mirror at themselves for at least 10 minutes before going to bed each night … maybe that’s just me.

But honestly, if you’re a marketer, your job is to trick people into doing what you want them to. What better way to do it than by distracting them with the thing they love most in the world (themselves) as they interact with your brand?

Food for thought.

That’s all for now, I have to go look in a mirror for a few minutes.

fine, I Mad Men'ed myself...

I'm the one standing awkwardly in the middle holding a cocktail. Look at Don Draper look at me. Like he wants to take that dress right off me...

Make your own Mad Men self here.

Starbury TV…

Stephon Marbury, if anyone is unfamiliar, played in the NBA for 13 seasons, and has his own affordable STARBURY basketball sneaker line. Now he can add crazy to his resume. The athlete’s meltdown has been documented (by himself) through streaming video on the Web, including moments of him singing, crying, and apparently eating Vaseline.

It makes you wonder why. Some articles say Marbury doesn’t know what to do with himself now that his basketball career is over, some say his ego is so huge that he can’t stop broadcasting himself. But I know other professional athletes that have found things to do after retirement (it can’t be that hard when you’re rolling in $$$). I also know other professional athletes that have huge egos yet don’t broadcast themselves going crazy on the Internets (TO, Ocho Cinco…)

This is yet another instance of a celeb on the Internet sharing their personal life (maybe too much of it) with fans. It’s such a weird phenomenon to me. I mean honestly, what’s the need for paparazzi when you have stars taking far more intimate videos of themselves and posting them for the world to see? Some of the most intimate (and disturbing) videos of celebrities have been shot by the stars themselves (or family/friends of stars), and posted online. Take the Britney Spears video where she’s obviously high on something, talking about time travel with her boo, K Fed. Or the David Hasselhoff video taken by his own daughter, where he is so drunk he is having trouble eating a cheeseburger. The paparazzi better watch out, their jobs are being taken by celebs themselves.

As for Stephon Marbury, if this really is a “cry for help,” as many speculate, I hope it brings the help he needs to stop eating lube. But the whole ordeal brings a greater issue to light—why do celebs post online video? I guess we can just suffice it to say, as they do in the tabloids, “STARS – THEY’RE JUST LIKE US.”

wish i was here.

Javier Serrano photography

funny looking animal of the week!

screen addiction

I have often thought that it was kind of weird how much time we spend looking at various screens throughout the day. It’s like you go from screen to screen until you go to sleep. At work you may stare at a computer screen for many (tedious) hours until you finally get to leave to go home and stare at your television screen, taking breaks to glance down at your cell phone screen to see the time or read a text message...it’s weird.

Stephen King wrote an interesting article about “Screen Addiction” in the last issue of Entertainment Weekly. I guess there was a study that found that the average American adult spends 8.5 hours a day staring at various screens. THAT’S CRAZY.

That’s all. Happy Monday, let the screen staring begin…

man of the hour

Congratulations to MARK BUEHRLE, my namesake and pitcher for the Chicago White Sox - You're having the best week ever!

Yesterday Buehrle threw a perfect game, only the 18th perfect game in MLB history. And... he's just an average guy, says espn writer Jon Greenburg:

"How does Mark Buehrle do it?

Look at him. He's a monster-truck-driving, deer-hunting, self-proclaimed country boy who strains to hit 90 on the radar gun and was picked in the 38th round of the 1998 amateur baseball draft."


I also liked this line from the article:

"For the guys out there with love handles and three days of scruff, Buehrle is your kind of guy. His coaches get on him for his offseason conditioning, which consists of watching his kids play, deer hunting, and jogs to and from the fridge. He's a real person. He loves to catch those ceremonial first pitches, and he comes to work nearly every day in cargo shorts and a T-shirt."


Come on, the guy just achieved a huge professional sporting feat, and you're rippin' on his love handles? (there was going to be more to this paragraph but I censored myself. just use your dirty imaginations and love handles...)

Buehlre was also aided by an amazing catch by Dewayne Wise, who robbed a homer from beyond the fence in the beginning of the 9th inning to preserve the perfect game. He's having the second best week ever!


Nice job, Mark Buehlre...I hope people with similar names can have similar outcomes in life - average, yet spectacular.

wondermilk shop & cafe in Malaysia. I wish it was closer because it seems awesome.

a glimpse of celeb tweets

I've been watching this Twitter phenomenon from afar, I'm too scared to jump into it, even though I find myself sometimes thinking what I would say at a given moment if I had a Twitter account (example: picture of Ithaca woods on my day off with the caption "much better than the 36 floor"). Then I realize whatever I wrote would be stupid. Twitter makes me so nervous!

But it's amazing how many people follow celebs on Twitter. And kind of funny that celebs want to be followed. Usually they try to stay away from the public eye and now they are asking people to follow their daily thoughts and lives.

I decided to see how popular celebs who Twittered are, so I did some research and came up with this chart of a few hand picked celebrities and how many followers they each have:



As you can see, Ashton Kutcher is very popular. So is his cougar of a wife, but not quite AS popular. And Miley seems to have a lot of tweens following her escapades. Like today, she went to Bible study with the girls. I wonder what Bible study is code for...

There really was no point to this, except for you to see how many people follow certain celebs. And if you look at this chart and apply the results to reality tv, I think Shaq's future reality show will be a lot more successful than the current T.O. show.

i want to go to there

500 Days of Summer looks like it's going to be a good one, I really want to see it. From what I've read, it chronicles the 500 day long relationship of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character Tom, to "free-spirited" Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel. But it's not your traditional rom-com, with the formulaic meeting, courting, falling for each other, break up and eventual reunion of lovers. Instead, the movie flutters about through the 500 days in Tom and Summer's relationship, so you may witness a scene from day 97, then skip back to day 5. Kind of a cool way to do it.

Some other perks of this movie:
- there's a musical number (which I think may be reminiscent to another great scene in one of my favs, Get Over It)
- apparently it's got a great soundtrack
- there's a split screen sequence which shows the way something really happened, and the way that Tom wanted it to happen (kind of like at the end of Wayne's World when you get to choose your own ending)
- it has nice posters. ha what an advertising nerd I am...

So check it out if you're up for something that doesn't have robots, super heroes, wizards, or quasi-gay foreigners.

nice stuff

-click to see larger view-


anak krakatau

wear sunscreen

I got burned real bad about a month ago, and somewhere between the most painful showers of my life and the point where my entire torso peeled off my body (so hot, I know), I thought to myself, "should have worn sunscreen." Now, I am your classic jackass who never wears sunscreen and usually doesn't burn. Sure, maybe I had a weird sun-induced fungus on my chest once, prompting many an interesting nickname, but besides that I've been good so far. I guess the real repercussions won't hit until around the age of 40 anyways, but I'll just have to be on mole patrol like crazy.

But for now, maybe I'll start wearing some sunscreen. I mean it's totally worth it too when you can get stuff like this brand, sponsored by Will Ferrell:



Yes, they're real (that's what she said). And you can buy them here. All proceeds benefit Cancer for College, which helps provide college scholarships to cancer patients.

Preview: The TO Show

Tonight marks the premiere of what’s sure to be a very entertaining reality show starring NFL’s controversy-ridden Terrell Owens. Ads for the show leave me wondering what exactly will happen, as a stark naked Owens sits solemnly holding a football. Is he going to try to tone down his escapades? I hope not.

Over the years we’ve seen T.O. score touchdowns, fight with quarterbacks, create locker-room animosity, and almost overdose on painkillers. Now we’ll get to apparently see him “hanging out with his two best friends/publicists,” says one review of the show. But to me that sounds really boring. I’m hoping for a lot less chatting with females and a lot more craziness.

The new Buffalo Bill surely won’t disappoint in that regard, right? I got my popcorn ready.

VH1, Mondays at 10

check out the tiddy bear...

another great find by rebecca p.

Welcome to NYC, Timmy Ho's!

Wonderful news everyone! Tim Horton's has opened 12 locations in New York City. Many people probably aren't familiar with the Canadian coffee/donut chain, but since I grew up so close to our neighbor to the north, I have fond memories of Sunday mornings drinking Iced Caps and eatin' a Boston Cream.

If you live in the city and want a tasty donut treat, check out Timmy Ho's.

pretty cool/SCARY site

So we had a vendor come in today to show us some creative stuff they've done lately. Banner ads, interactive banners, Web sites...all cool stuff that advertising nerds love to sit in a conference room and watch for an hour.

Anyways, this one site they showed us was pretty cool/freaky - frenziedwaters.com. If you go there and click on the floating barrel on the right, "My Story," it will ask you to enter your facebook username and password. Then watch the video that follows - it uses information/photos/etc from your facebook account to include you in the story... and it's kinda creepy.

This could apply really well to a lot of interactive Web sites to get users more involved in the experience.

Check it out.

See you in hell, Bills

From Bill Simmons mailbag:

Q: Let's imagine for a second that you go to hell and are going to be forced to watch every game a sports team ever played and will play for the rest of eternity. Except, your memory will be wiped so you don't know the results (to maximize the agony) and you will become a die-hard fan of that team with no memory of other fan association (to ensure you don't get free Red Sox tickets forever). Which team in each of the four major sports will Satan be bestowing on you?
-- Marty, Flint, Mich.

SG: Cubs, Bills, Clippers, Maple Leafs. I didn't have to think for even six seconds about it. In fact, I think this is part of hell -- you have to adopt these four teams and watch their games as you listen to a looped recording of Bill Russell's laugh mixed in with Yoko Ono music and no-longer-timely sideline reports from Tony Siragusa. Welcome to hell.


(thanks for finding this Cordes!)

the great foods of buffalo, ny.

Every time i go home for a weekend I remember what great food Buffalo has to offer. It makes me realize why people put up with the cold, snowy winters and horrible sports teams - the food makes everything okay (not to mention the general availability of good Canadian beers). But in particular, the Buffalo food front is remarkable. And it's not just the chicken wings either, Buffalo rocks some really awesome food chains that are only found in Western New York. Here I will pay tribute to several of these chains.

MIGHTY TACO


Besides being the go-to "hangout" for when we were doing absolutely nothing in high school (meet you at mighty? fine...), Mighty features Mexican fast food treats that make Taco Bell seem, well, shitty. The nacho cheese sauce there is amazing, and makes for a great dip for the deluxe soft-shell beef burritos that I personally prefer when ordering. They are always pushing the bounds of amazing (now they have Buffitos, burritos with buffalo chicken in them!), and I hope they will continue to be a Western New York staple for years to come. God bless you, Mighty Taco.

TED'S HOT DOGS

Gimme 2 footlongs, a fry, an onion ring, and a chocolate milkshake and I'm good to go. Ted's Hot Dogs have been around forever, and I've been dipping my french fries into their milkshakes for as long as I can remember. They cook the food RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU on glorious grills, and if you know how to do it right, you can go fill up the little ketchup cups and find a table while mom and dad grab the grub. This is another Buffalo chain that really knows how to work it. I salute you, Ted's Hot Dogs.

ANDERSON'S

Anderson's has it all - from world-renowned (and overpriced, says my dad) beef on weck, to tasty ice cream treats galore, this is the place to go if you want a tasty meal with a little dessert at the end. Or you can meet up there after baseball or softball games (but only if you win; no losers allowed). And my friend Steve used to work there. And all his brothers and sisters too. What else could you want?! Well played, Andersons.

JIM'S STEAKOUT

Last but certainly not least, is Jim's Steakout. Jim's is a little bit newer on the Buffalo fast-food awesome scene. It started as a late-night sub place, where the kitchen staff wore shirts that claimed "I see drunk people." Because it's deliciousness can break the all-so-crucial boundary of tasting good even when you're sober, Jim's has expanded exponentially in the past four years and now is serving the best chicken finger sub in the world at nine different locations around town. A trip to Buffalo is far from complete unless you eat at least 2 Jim's chicken finger subs while you're there. And I actually am on my way to complete that task right now... So God Bless you, Jim's Steakout.

Until next time, keep eating, Buffalo.

heard on my plane

"This is Jet Blue? I don't see blue anywhere!"

-little boy on my (really delayed) flight

this is how i will walk Reese this weekend

nyc prep

So I started watching NYC PREP on Bravo, which is a new reality show about teenagers that go to Prep Schools in NYC. It’s kind of like Gossip Girl. Only real. And the people aren’t as attractive. And are actually teenagers.

But, I digress. One of the kids on the show is named Sebastian, and in the first episode he said probably what will be my favorite line of the entire season:

“If you go to a good amount of parties you can hook up with anywhere between two and 16 girls a month.”
-Sebastian, 16, NYC PREP

Oh Sebastian…what a bad boy. This line made me laugh really hard and I think I actually rewinded my DVR to hear it again. I needed to make sure I had the numbers right. Between two and 16 girls? That is a really large span, Sebastian. And how do you get the number 16? You really keep a month-by-month list of hook ups? What a nerdy player.

And another thing—what constitutes a hook-up for 16 year olds these days? I mean, I’ve heard that kids are getting’ real slutty these days, but Sebastian, are you really banging 16 biddies a month? That’s pretty baller. I was impressed, but then I watched the next episode where you kissed Taylor for about 2.5 seconds and she told all her friends you guys hooked up. Now unless I missed something that happened off camera, now I understand how it is so easy for you to hook up with 2-16 girls a month.

Hooking up apparently equals a lil’ lip action. That’s not how it is on Gossip Girl! I am a little bit let down.


Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to keep watching and see if some real action goes down later - NYC PREP, Tuesdays at 10 on Bravo (←shameless plug for no apparent reason).

Feel free to post your average number of monthly hook ups to comments.

The week of the spot start

This week I used a managing technique for my fantasy baseball team that can either turn out to work really well, or make your team lose by a lot, depending on a little bit of skill and a lot of guesswork. Every day, I picked up a pitcher off the waiver wire that was going to be a starting pitcher that night. It’s called a “spot start” (or at least I call it that). Now, this tactic is sometimes used by people if they think a certain pitcher has a good matchup on a particular day, but it can also prove very detrimental if you choose wrong.

In order to keep things fresh, and give my team, Reyes the Roof, a shot at beating the mighty team Suckada’s Glock (who has been on a 6 game winning tear), I pledged to pick up a starting free-agent pitcher every day this week, no matter how good or bad a tactic it proved to be.

Let’s see how it worked out for me, day by day…

Key (this is for you, mom) :
IP = innings pitched
H = hits
ER = earned runs
BB = walks
K = strikeouts
W = win
L = loss

MONDAY
Trevor Cahill, Oakland Athletics
7 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W
Points: 24

TUESDAY
Joel Pineiro, St. Louis Cardinals
9 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 1 K – Complete Game Shut Out!
Points: 36

WEDNESDAY
Josh Geer, San Diego Padres
6 IP, 8 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K
Points: 0

THURSDAY
Andy Pettitte, New York Yankees
3.2 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 4 K
Points: -1.7

FRIDAY
Ricky Romero, Toronto Blue Jays
7 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 1 BB, 7K, W
Points: 35

SATURDAY
Homer Bailey, Cincinnati Reds
5 IP, 3 H, 3 ER, 7 BB, 2 K, W
Points: 8

SUNDAY
Brian Tallet, Toronto Blue Jays
6 IP, 8 H, 4 ER, 6 BB, 6 K, L
Points: -3

As you can see, some of these spot starts worked out better than others, but none of the guys I picked really got killed and lost me that many points. So what’s the verdict? How did the week of spot starts turn out? Well, let’s do some 3rd grade math and find out.

If you add up how many points I got in total from my spot starters, it equals 98.3 points.

The final score of my matchup this week was 417.3 - 353.3, with Reyes the Roof coming out on top!

Since I only won by 64 points, without my spot starts I would have lost.

Therefore, the week of the spot start was a big success!
(sorry Gallen)

MJ remembered

I guess it would be a big cultural miss if I fail to mention the death of Michael Jackson. But I don’t really know what to say about it. He was a great musician and it was pretty shocking and sad news, but I don’t really have much insight into it I guess. And I feel bad joking about it.

But while everyone still has a Facebook status up that read “wearing my one sequin glove ☹”, I think this is a good time to maybe remember how we used to talk about MJ while he was still alive. Jokingly.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K Mart?
He heard boys pants were half off!

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
Because there are twenty of them.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

I know I kid, but despite the jokes it’s still very sad. We have lost a music legend. I hope his soul keeps Moonwalkin’ to Billie Jean forever.

RIP MJ

Shaq going to the Cavs

So Shaq got traded to Cleveland to play with Lebron - crazy news. They will be working together to try and elevate the game of the Cavs so maybe they can make it to the finals next year. Lebron really needed big man support, let's see if ol'Shaqman's got it in him.

In honor of this occasion, I used a website to see what it would look like if Shaq and Lebron had a baby together, lashaq:

Perez Hilton Gets Punched.

I am sure if you are familiar with both the Internet and pop culture that you’ve heard of Perez Hilton. He runs his own Hollywood gossip blog and holds very opinioned views about various celebrities, which he usually voices by taking photos of certain celebs and using Microsoft Paint to draw things such as penises and offensive words over their faces.

Though I am not an avid reader of the blog, I am familiar enough to know that Perez never really explains why he hates whichever celebrities he is attacking. Except once when Jessica Alba made some comment about not being Latino or something. That really set him off. But besides that, I haven’t seen him mention why he hates whoever he is drawing a penis on.

But the other day, Perez got his due. He was PUNCHED big time. By the manager of the Black Eyed Peas. You shouldn’t mess with them, or they’ll BOOM BOOM POW you big time, Perez.

Judging from news reports, apparently Perez was at a Toronto club and got into an argument with Fergie and will.i.am when they told him not to write about them in his blog. Then Hilton left the bar, only to be PUNCHED IN THE FACE from behind.

What really makes this story for me is the fact that in response to the situation, Perez thought to do the only reasonable thing at the time – post a tweet about it on Twitter –

"I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."

If only by posting a request to Twitter it magically happened. Then a police report would have been filed right then. But since all you can do on Twitter is tell the world what you’re doing RIGHT NOW, all that happened was everyone knew Perez got punched.


Now that’s pretty embarrassing…

from Natascha Rosenberg

milk package design from lovelypackage.com


Milk is delicious.

a lack of focus

When I first started this blog, it was for the purposes of school, so each post was about marketing or advertising and I got a decent grade or whatever. Now when I write, it’s not for school! I can talk about anything I want to! But alas, my blog now seems to have a lack of focus.

Does that make it unreadable? I mean, when you look at successful blogs, they all seem to have a clear focus to them. Whether it be posting awkward family photos, dishing dirt on celebs, or pointing out the lame-o’s on Facebook, most blogs with a large following keep it simple and stick to their regular material. I mean, there are sports blogs, mommy blogs, and blogs about New Jersey.

So where do I fit in? What the heck should my focus be? I don’t want to limit myself, but I think maybe it’s time to figure out an identity for this here blog. So here are some ideas of what my blog could focus on:

1. Misheard Song Lyrics
A blog devoted to song lyrics that people usually don’t hear correctly—like when the Pussycat Dolls song “When I Grow Up” where they supposedly said, “I wanna have boobies.” I think that’s the wrong lyric. I may be wrong though…
Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE

2. Funny Looking Animals
A blog devoted to animals looking silly! I mean there are tons of these out there, like this:


or this:


But alas, I think other blogs already focus on stuff like this. Or at least put speech bubbles coming out of the animals’ mouths. Guess this idea’s played out… what a shame.
Potential for this blog to succeed: MILD POTENTIAL

3. Wayne’s World
What a great movie, I could really blog about it for a long, long time. Whether it be a random quote, video clip, or analysis of the extremely complicated and timeless script, there is a lot to be said about Wayne’s World. I mean we could even get into Wayne’s World 2 stuff. And the Naked Indian? Genius. I could even reach deep into my film archives and pull footage from my dad’s Wayne’s World party. Complete with extreme closeups.
Potential for this blog to succeed: IN CERTAIN CIRCLES, HUGE POTENTIAL.

4. Pop Culture Haiku
Self explanatory I guess. Pros: would make every post really easy and quick to read. Cons: would severely limit content posted to blog.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight
I hate you and your dumb show
but I like your kids.

Miss California
you really done it now, bitch.
lost your crown for reals.

Kendra is preggers.
I wonder what Hugh Hef thinks?
He is really old.

Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE.


Screw it, my blog lacks a focus and I like it. I seem to remember a television show about nothing, and it was quite successful.

funny looking animal of the week!

formal apologies made easy.

heard it babysitting

circa 9pm...

me: try to close your eyes.

val: but I can't close my eyes yet, I haven't decided what I want to dream about yet.

10 seconds pass

val: okay I got it.

:)

Things I am tired of hearing about…

Okay pop culture, we know that sometimes you take certain people or events and just go nuts with it, but sometimes you take things a little too far, even for me. And I’m not the type that hates American Idol and all it’s hysteria; I even read Entertainment Weekly to keep up on all the news, and sometimes pick up an In Touch as well. But I’ve found that lately I’m really starting to get tired of hearing about a few topics…


1. Jon and Kate Plus Eight + Marital Woes
Whatever.Who cares? Did he cheat? Who knows. Is she a verbally abusive wife? Maybe. Have I ever seen their dumb show? Not a chance. And I’m sick of having to see the two of them and their motley crew every time I open a magazine. In fact, I’m sick of people with 8 children in general (that means you, Octomom). Why are you forcing your children to not only suffer with your miserable personalities and marital woes but also do it on national television? And why is everyone so fascinated by it? I’m so sick of hearing about what a bitch she is, how he is cheating on her, and what the future will be for their dumb show. I wish their show was like Idol so we could vote them off. Peace.

2. Brad and Angelina gossip
Again, who cares? Apparently Brad has made “SECRET TELEPHONE CALLS TO JEN,” is “WEARING HER PRESENT – A NECKLACE,” and “IS SICK OF TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE ANGELINA’S ON A MOVIE SET.” Honestly, I doubt the majority of these dumb stories are true. Like the time one of the sleazy mags showed a photo of Brad carrying Maddox with the caption, “Brad looks really tired hanging out with the kids all day.” Guess what sleazy magazines? People get tired. Especially when you have a bunch of kids. And you’re a movie star. And everywhere you go you have to dodge weird people with cameras taking photos of you looking tired with your kids. Peace.


3. Miley Cyrus
Girl just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s just because I’m tired of hearing about her all the time. She really hasn’t done anything that warrants being followed so closely by the media…I mean sure, Hannah Montana was big, and then she went all teen risqué photo-sharing on us for a while, but now what’s up? Nothing really. She’s got some country song “Climbin’” the charts, but I don’t think we need to talk about her as much as we do. Honestly, just give me some more Jonas Zac Ephron Robert Pattinson beer instead. Peace.

4. Project Runway’s Legal Woes
Networks fought over the show. Whatever I don’t want to hear more about it. It’s bad enough that you’ve been keeping this great show from me because of a stupid legal battle, now don’t make me read about said battle in thoughtless magazines like Entertainment Weekly. Just show me pretty dresses and crazy designers. And Tim Gunn. Lots of Tim Gunn. Make it work. Peace.