security via Segue.

The security guard in front of our office rides a Segue. He wears a Security Guard outfit, military boots, and a bike helmet. Why does he need a Segue? It doesn’t really make him more intimidating, and the helmet must be annoying to wear all day. And let’s say someone is causing a ruckus and the security guard needs to step in. The amount of space he needs to cover is one block. That means even if he’s standing on one end of the block, and a ruckus starts to occur at the other end of the block, the amount of time it would take him to Segue over there isn’t significantly faster than how long it would take him to run. Especially since he would have to weave his Segue through all the pedestrians walking on the sidewalk.

I think he really wanted the Segue because his job was boring. Now instead of just standing outside all day, he gets to ride around on a Segue all day. And get paid for it. What the heck am I doing all the way up here on the 36th floor? I could totally be riding a Segue around in the sun and be getting paid for it.