this post is rated arggggg

Sunday, the American government rescued one of its servicemen from pirates. We shot 3 pirates down in the process. What? Pirates? Is this a movie, or have we gone back in time about 500 years?

But really, pirates are making a comeback. I mean obviously some bootlegger got a hold of all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, screened them to some sailors in Somalia, and bam! Pirates galore. Except in real life Pirate hostages/attacks/etc aren’t as cute as Johnny Depp makes them seem. Especially in this era, they don’t really fit in well with the whole international laws trend that countries and most people have been following lately.

But America will not take these Pirates lying down. It's much easier to best them while standing up. This graph, courtesy of the big.crush. tumblr, gives us an idea of how President Obama is going to deal with Pirates:


(click on graph to see full image)

Obama confirmed his position in a press conference my day dream today, saying that the United States "will not negotiate with Pirates." He might have said more, but his remarks were interrupted when a pirate in the audience stood up, removed his peg leg and hurled it at our Executive in Chief.

But in real life, the Pirates pledged to get even and have hijacked 4 more ships since Sunday's rescue. They attacked a fifth ship today with rifles and hand grenades, but failed to capture it. Meanwhile the United States is "reviewing it's options, including whether to go into pirate villages." (courtesy of ABC News). Why does this seem like it's more and more like a video game and/or summer blockbuster?

I guess only time will tell what will happen next with these Pirate hooligans and their bounties, but one thing's definite—there is going to be a Pirate reality show coming out within the next year. And it's gonna be awesome...