Thursday, January 21, 2010

farewell jersey shore...

Tonight marks the end of the most fun pop culture has had in a long, long while - it's the finale of Jersey Shore! In the words of Snooki, I say "Wahhh." What will I do each week without my dose of my guidos and guidettes, without watching Ronnie beat the shit out of people on the boardwalk and put up with the sweetest bitch I'll ever meet's crap? What will I do without watching the Situation as he navigates GTL every day, and without Snooki being...well, Snooki.

I think it's safe to say that watching Jersey Shore has changed my life. It has fundamentally changed me as a person. My skin is turning tanner, although I haven't been out in the sun at all. When I see certain girls out I ponder if they would be a grenade, and my instincts to fight people have grown exponentially. My blood alcohol level content is also really high, even when I'm not drinking. And when I bleed, I bleed tomato sauce.

All of which I think are improvements on my former self. So why must Jersey Shore be over? As a small consolation, a one-hour reunion show will be airing tonight immediately following the end of what I think is a very important era in television history.

So tune in tonight and get your last Jersey Shore fix until they (hopefully) give us a season 2. And in the meantime, beat the beat.

MTV @ 10.