A study of my own “whiteness”

So there is a website called “Stuff White People Like.” It is a pretty funny site that details things that white people supposedly like, featuring things such as “Ugly Sweater Parties,” and “Unpaid Internships.”

I was perusing this site today, which currently lists 125 things that white people like, and I thought to myself – “Wow. I like a lot of these things. Does that mean I’m really white?” Although I know the answer is a resounding YES, let’s be a little more scientific about this.

Today I went through all the posts on this site systematically and rated from 1-5 how much I associate with that characteristic (1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest). Then I averaged my scores to get a final score on the 1-5 scale to see how much there is in common between what “white people like” and what I like. Using this complicated first grader’s statistical analysis I can come to a final conclusion of just how “white” I am.

As I went down the 125 items posted to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, I did seem to rate highly on many of them, especially certain sections like:
#38-43: Arrested Development, Netflix, Apple Products, Indie Music, Sushi, Plays

or…

#49-53: Vintage, Irony, Living By Water, Sarah Silverman, dogs

or even…

#102-107: Children’s Games as Adults, Sweaters, Girls with Bangs, Unpaid Internships, Facebook, Self Aware Hip Hop References.

Based on these results, I began thinking to myself “Wowzers, I am really white!” But when it came down to averaging my results, I scored a 3.456. This means on a 1-5 scale of white-personess, I score only a little bit higher than average, which kind of surprised me. Maybe it was because of my aversion to coffee, or the fact that I don’t hate my parents. Or because I scored very low on categories such as: vegetarianism, not having a tv, and natural medicine.

One thing is for sure—there was absolutely no point to this exercise. I will end this post with the entire list from Stuff White People Like, in case you’d like to find your own average using your copy and paste skills, along with an excel spreadsheet. Post your score to comments. And good luck!

1. Bob Marley
2. Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
3. Mad Men
4. Moleskine Notebooks
5. Funny or Ironic Tattoos
6. Taking a Year Off
7. Sea Salt
8. Ugly Sweater Parties
9. Political Prisoners
10. Black music that black people don't lister to anymore
11. Promising to Learn a New Language
12. America
13. Halloween
14. Hummus
15. Pea Coats
16. Frisbee Sports
17. The Onion
18. Appearing to enjoy Classical Music
19. Self Aware Hip Hop References
20. Facebook
21. Unpaid Internships
22. Girls with Bangs
23. Sweaters
24. Children's Games as Adults
25. Being Offended
26. Bumper Stickers
27. Grammar
28. The Ivy League
29. Scarves
30. New Balance Shoes
31. Rugby
32. Free healthcare
33. Music Piracy
34. Book Deals
35. San Francisco
36. Dinner Parties
37. St. Patrick's Day
38. Having gay friends
39. Outdoor performance clothes
40. shorts
41. the wire
42. t shirts
43. Bad memories of high school
44. hating corporations
45. graduate school
46. the idea of soccer
47. modern furniture
48. multi lingual children
49. musical comedy
50. bottles of water
51. threatening to move to canada
52. oscar parties
53. gentrification
54. study abroad
55. being the only white person around
56. difficult break ups
57. mos def
58. michel gondry
59. standing still at concerts
60. divorce
61. co ed sports
62. recycling
63. expensive sandwiches
64. knowing what's best for poor people
65. bicycles
66. toyota prius
67. natural medicine
68. japan
69. juno
70. lawyers
71. apologies
72. kitchen gadgets
73. dogs
74. Sarah Silverman
75. Living by water
76. irony
77. vintage
78. whole foods and grocery co ops
79. arts degrees
80. the Sunday new york times
81. asian fusion food
82. public radio
83. plays
84. sushi
85. indie music
86. apple products
87. netflix
88. arrested development
89. renovations
90. breakfast places
91. the daily show/colbert report
92. architecture
93. marajuana
94. vegan/vegetariansim
95. snowboarding
96. wrigley field
97. 80s night
98. not having a tv
99. marathons
100. manhattan
101. david sedaris
102. wine
103. microbreweries
104. having two last names
105. writer's workshops
106. being an expert on YOUR culture
107. traveling
108. awareness
109. hating their parents
110. "gifted" children
111. yoga
112. having black friends
113. tea
114. non-profit organizations
115. asian girls
116. wes anderson movies
117. making you feel bad about not going outside
118. barack obama
119. diversity
120. organic food
121. farmers markets
122. assists
123. film festivals
124. religions that their parents don't belong to
125. coffee