Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Rating Hurricane Supplies

When there's a Hurricane a-brewin' near NYC, residents are treated like people who do not know how to deal at all (kind of like when there is frost in Florida in January).

So the local news told us to stock up on essentials - including emergency kits, batteries, food and water. A lot of New Yorkers I know took this list and added a few of their own essentials, especially since every subway will be shut down and we'll be pretty much in our apartments on lockdown…

Not sure what the propane tanks are all about, but I definitely agree that during a Hurricane Whey Protein is a necessity. If you gotta be chillin' at home you may as well be beefing up. Also note that the only things to eat here are Doritos and trail mix. I dunno what y'all are gonna do once you get drunk and wanna eat eat eat. Bonus points for the smelly candles though.
Grade: B. Substantial loot, but could have more food.

What's up, skinny girl margarita? I will wash you down with that white wine and then spit seeds from my melon. After that, it's nuts galore. Oh, and gummies throughout.
Grade: D. This shit ain't gonna give you nothing but a headache.

I found this one online, it's not one of my friends. Which probably explains why it has the most functional things in it. Canned pears? Those will hold up if you're stuck in your apartment for decades. Batteries seem to be what all the news channels tell you to get, so spot on play there. But what do you use them for? I feel like all my electronics run on their own juice these days. Call me a tech snob, but all I need batts for are the TV remotes.
Grade: C+. Kudos on the flashlight, but I don't care much for pears.

Here's what we were rocking' at my house Friday night. Yeah it just looks like a bunch of alcohol - 'cause it is. But that's because it's only a PORTION of our preparation. We've got a whole separate food stash. BBQ chips, soups galore, GROUND BEEF to make meatballs before the power shuts off, peanut m&ms, apples, cantaloupe, the list goes on and on. I'm happy to say we're prepared, but I think we might have gone a little too far.
Grade: A. Irene might make us gain weight.

Whatta we got here? 3 half empty liquor bottles, some beef jerky and a bit of water to help cure your hangover the next day. That little bottle of Bailey's should be saved as a last resort shot if for some reason you think you're going to perish from Irene. That way, at least your last moment can be delicious.
Grade: D. Definitely a manly stash, but I'd be through that jerky in hours — where's my second course?