If only they had something like this for food consumption…

Gmail has a new application called “Google Goggles” that helps you refrain from sending embarrassing emails when you are drunk by using mathematical puzzlers. And who said you would never use math again once you got out of high school?

Basically, before you can send an email (only on nights/times you specify as party nights), a few basic arithmetic problems come up on the screen that you must answer correctly within a short period of time in order to send the message.

Seems pretty genius, I know. I don’t think I will be utilizing this service personally, usually when I get home and I’m drunk I don’t head right over to my computer to send emotionally charged emails. Rather, I check out foods that are available for immediate consumption, or beds available to pass out in.

And even though it is the first of its kind and pretty revolutionary, I do see a few flaws with this system:
1. People who just aren’t good at math in general may be seen as drunk all the time.
2. People who are really book smart (but usually not super street smart) will easily trump the simple math problems and send their drunken messages to the world.
3. Really emotional people may damage expensive technical equipment over frustration after not being able to send their innermost uninhibited thoughts. Have we forgotten where the term “RAGING alcoholic” came from?

Anyways, it’s a funny application and I give mad kudos to its creator, as well as Gmail, mostly for it’s clever name.

But I had one more qualm with the system, though it is entirely my own fault. I was a little disappointed because at first I thought they had developed some sort of algorithm that could determine that you were typing in a drunken stupor. Like based on the amount of misspelled words, spacing problems, etc… I don’t know I’m not an algorithm scientist, it just would have been way cooler if that’s how they did it. (note to nerd somewhere: develop this algorithm. I’ll find great uses for it)

(totally unrelated note: UCLA scientists recently discovered a 13-million digit prime number. It’s the first Mersenne prime number with more than 10 million digits. I’m sorry for people doing jobs like that.)

So anyway, back to those Google Goggles. A novel idea, and I hope we see something like this soon that will send an electric shock through your body if you are trying to eat too much pizza when you’re drunk. Just kidding. When you aren’t eating enough pizza while you’re drunk.

Women Fantasy Sports Update

Very interesting article in the AM Metro today about a new site that was launched by women who are sick of their significant other spending so much time playing fantasy sports. I thought this was especially relevant and kind of amusing after my post the other day about my look at fantasy football.

The site features a place for fantasy "victims" to vent about their neglect due to the importance of fantasy sports is even selling apparel - black panties that read "CLOSED For the Fantasy Football Season." I mean, in some cases you're just hurting yourselves ladies...

I understand that fantasy sports can take up a lot of a man's time, and that once in a while you wish your man was looking up cute presents to surprise you with rather than researching the hottest defenses in the NFL, but it's a hobby. It's a way to connect with friends, and for a lot of men, there's also pride at stake. When you're getting ragged on for leaving a pitcher in your lineup who got hurt during his last start, the best defense is probably not saying it was because you didn't have time between shopping with your girl and making her dinner...

I mean I guess I am probably not the norm in terms of women and knowledge/interest in sports, but from my experience if you kind of enjoy the sports that your man is playing fantasy sports of, it's a way you can actually become closer. Watching games together, keeping up on their fantasy players and rooting their team on may not seem like fun to women, but if you do this for him maybe he'll watch a chick flick or two...

Anyways, check out the site. And for all the ladies out there who are neglected by their fantasy sports lovin' men, try to get into it with him. I bet that's one of his fantasies....

a woman’s look at fantasy football

I recently saw a newscast about fantasy football leagues, and they highlighted one such league that was comprised entirely of….women! How weird! They then showed all these young women sitting around in newly purchased Reebok NFL Women’s gear, watching a football game, referencing their laptops frequently, and making jokes about how cute Tom Brady is.

And I’m not writing this post as a feminist or anything (even though I still hold a small grudge against my high school guy friends for kicking me out of their league when it became “guys only”) because my fantasy football league kind of proves the point that female fantasy leagues are oftentimes silly. There’s only four of us in the league, and we don’t even have a draft, Yahoo does that for us… my friend had Tom Brady as her starting QB until week 5, and you can pick up just about any other league’s first round draft picks on our waiver wire. But that’s not the point, is it? I mean, we have a league! And we’re girls! Give us props.

But it is exactly the point. Our league is silly, and no one cares who wins. Last year, one of the whopping four team owners forgot her Yahoo password and so did not make one change in her lineup all season. And still won a majority of her games with her automatically drafted team led by big Tom Brady in his glory day.

But if this is possible, how do men in these leagues seem to have mediocre teams at best when they research the players, make reasonable trade offers and carefully peruse the waiver wire for viable free agents? Easy. Fantasy football is a little about picking good guys, and a lot about luck. In the NFL, as long as you step foot on the football field, you can have a good week. Sure, some weeks are better than others (6 TD passes Favre?), and some are more consistent than others (Lee Evans can make or break you), but every Sunday there’s a chance that your back up running back could have the game of his life, and you got him sitting on your fantasy bench to start Larry Johnson (held to 2 rushing yards this week…).

It’s the flip of a coin, gentlemen. I guess the moral of the story is: take some chances on your fantasy team, because they might just pay off. And if not…it’s just fantasy right?