Everyone loves a pregnant girl.

So I was reading my Time magazine the other day, and apparently there’s a high school in Gloucester, Mass. where 17 girls in the senior class were preggers. Things in this small fishing town seemed a bit “fishy” when girls were coming to the school clinic and getting tested for pregnancy multiple times, and then seeming disappointed if the results were negative.

After some questioning of these biddies, school administrators were able to find out that the girls made a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. You know, like when you talk with your friends and say things like “let’s all live on the same street and our kids will be best friends.” Only they the whole buying houses near each other step and just going right to the shootin’ out a baby phase of the process.

The principal also found out some information about one of the baby daddys that probably made the girl’s parents a bit uncomfortable. And anyone else who hears it: “We found out one of the guys is a 24-year-old homeless guy,” the principal says, shaking his head. First of all, if you were the principal of this school, would you really release this information to the press? That some messed up girl in your school wanted a baby so bad she banged a homeless dude? She couldn’t find some horny high school guy? I think she wasn’t looking hard enough.

And forget celebrating high school sports—these girls cheerlead for the baby-making team. Apparently after the girls found out they were pregnant in the clinic, some reacted to the news by high-fiving each other and making plans for baby showers. Sure, the miracle of life is something to celebrate, but do these girls realize they’re going to have stretch marks at the age of 17? I wonder if they’ll still be raisin’ the roof when they’re changing diapers.

I think the most ironic part is the fact that when the school nurse and doctor decided that maybe they should make birth control available in this school of fertilized eggs, they got resistance, even from the mayor. “Dr. Orr and Ms. Daly have no right to decide this for our children,” said Mayor Carolyn Kirk. Orr and Daly resigned in protest.

And I agree with them. I resign too. To the fact that teenage girls are crazy!!!! Sleepovers galore! We can talk about cute boys, baby names, stroller companies, and natural childbirth.

Count me in.