man of the hour

Congratulations to MARK BUEHRLE, my namesake and pitcher for the Chicago White Sox - You're having the best week ever!

Yesterday Buehrle threw a perfect game, only the 18th perfect game in MLB history. And... he's just an average guy, says espn writer Jon Greenburg:

"How does Mark Buehrle do it?

Look at him. He's a monster-truck-driving, deer-hunting, self-proclaimed country boy who strains to hit 90 on the radar gun and was picked in the 38th round of the 1998 amateur baseball draft."


I also liked this line from the article:

"For the guys out there with love handles and three days of scruff, Buehrle is your kind of guy. His coaches get on him for his offseason conditioning, which consists of watching his kids play, deer hunting, and jogs to and from the fridge. He's a real person. He loves to catch those ceremonial first pitches, and he comes to work nearly every day in cargo shorts and a T-shirt."


Come on, the guy just achieved a huge professional sporting feat, and you're rippin' on his love handles? (there was going to be more to this paragraph but I censored myself. just use your dirty imaginations and love handles...)

Buehlre was also aided by an amazing catch by Dewayne Wise, who robbed a homer from beyond the fence in the beginning of the 9th inning to preserve the perfect game. He's having the second best week ever!


Nice job, Mark Buehlre...I hope people with similar names can have similar outcomes in life - average, yet spectacular.

wondermilk shop & cafe in Malaysia. I wish it was closer because it seems awesome.

a glimpse of celeb tweets

I've been watching this Twitter phenomenon from afar, I'm too scared to jump into it, even though I find myself sometimes thinking what I would say at a given moment if I had a Twitter account (example: picture of Ithaca woods on my day off with the caption "much better than the 36 floor"). Then I realize whatever I wrote would be stupid. Twitter makes me so nervous!

But it's amazing how many people follow celebs on Twitter. And kind of funny that celebs want to be followed. Usually they try to stay away from the public eye and now they are asking people to follow their daily thoughts and lives.

I decided to see how popular celebs who Twittered are, so I did some research and came up with this chart of a few hand picked celebrities and how many followers they each have:



As you can see, Ashton Kutcher is very popular. So is his cougar of a wife, but not quite AS popular. And Miley seems to have a lot of tweens following her escapades. Like today, she went to Bible study with the girls. I wonder what Bible study is code for...

There really was no point to this, except for you to see how many people follow certain celebs. And if you look at this chart and apply the results to reality tv, I think Shaq's future reality show will be a lot more successful than the current T.O. show.

i want to go to there

500 Days of Summer looks like it's going to be a good one, I really want to see it. From what I've read, it chronicles the 500 day long relationship of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character Tom, to "free-spirited" Summer, played by Zooey Deschanel. But it's not your traditional rom-com, with the formulaic meeting, courting, falling for each other, break up and eventual reunion of lovers. Instead, the movie flutters about through the 500 days in Tom and Summer's relationship, so you may witness a scene from day 97, then skip back to day 5. Kind of a cool way to do it.

Some other perks of this movie:
- there's a musical number (which I think may be reminiscent to another great scene in one of my favs, Get Over It)
- apparently it's got a great soundtrack
- there's a split screen sequence which shows the way something really happened, and the way that Tom wanted it to happen (kind of like at the end of Wayne's World when you get to choose your own ending)
- it has nice posters. ha what an advertising nerd I am...

So check it out if you're up for something that doesn't have robots, super heroes, wizards, or quasi-gay foreigners.

nice stuff

-click to see larger view-


anak krakatau

wear sunscreen

I got burned real bad about a month ago, and somewhere between the most painful showers of my life and the point where my entire torso peeled off my body (so hot, I know), I thought to myself, "should have worn sunscreen." Now, I am your classic jackass who never wears sunscreen and usually doesn't burn. Sure, maybe I had a weird sun-induced fungus on my chest once, prompting many an interesting nickname, but besides that I've been good so far. I guess the real repercussions won't hit until around the age of 40 anyways, but I'll just have to be on mole patrol like crazy.

But for now, maybe I'll start wearing some sunscreen. I mean it's totally worth it too when you can get stuff like this brand, sponsored by Will Ferrell:



Yes, they're real (that's what she said). And you can buy them here. All proceeds benefit Cancer for College, which helps provide college scholarships to cancer patients.

Preview: The TO Show

Tonight marks the premiere of what’s sure to be a very entertaining reality show starring NFL’s controversy-ridden Terrell Owens. Ads for the show leave me wondering what exactly will happen, as a stark naked Owens sits solemnly holding a football. Is he going to try to tone down his escapades? I hope not.

Over the years we’ve seen T.O. score touchdowns, fight with quarterbacks, create locker-room animosity, and almost overdose on painkillers. Now we’ll get to apparently see him “hanging out with his two best friends/publicists,” says one review of the show. But to me that sounds really boring. I’m hoping for a lot less chatting with females and a lot more craziness.

The new Buffalo Bill surely won’t disappoint in that regard, right? I got my popcorn ready.

VH1, Mondays at 10

check out the tiddy bear...

another great find by rebecca p.

Welcome to NYC, Timmy Ho's!

Wonderful news everyone! Tim Horton's has opened 12 locations in New York City. Many people probably aren't familiar with the Canadian coffee/donut chain, but since I grew up so close to our neighbor to the north, I have fond memories of Sunday mornings drinking Iced Caps and eatin' a Boston Cream.

If you live in the city and want a tasty donut treat, check out Timmy Ho's.

pretty cool/SCARY site

So we had a vendor come in today to show us some creative stuff they've done lately. Banner ads, interactive banners, Web sites...all cool stuff that advertising nerds love to sit in a conference room and watch for an hour.

Anyways, this one site they showed us was pretty cool/freaky - frenziedwaters.com. If you go there and click on the floating barrel on the right, "My Story," it will ask you to enter your facebook username and password. Then watch the video that follows - it uses information/photos/etc from your facebook account to include you in the story... and it's kinda creepy.

This could apply really well to a lot of interactive Web sites to get users more involved in the experience.

Check it out.

See you in hell, Bills

From Bill Simmons mailbag:

Q: Let's imagine for a second that you go to hell and are going to be forced to watch every game a sports team ever played and will play for the rest of eternity. Except, your memory will be wiped so you don't know the results (to maximize the agony) and you will become a die-hard fan of that team with no memory of other fan association (to ensure you don't get free Red Sox tickets forever). Which team in each of the four major sports will Satan be bestowing on you?
-- Marty, Flint, Mich.

SG: Cubs, Bills, Clippers, Maple Leafs. I didn't have to think for even six seconds about it. In fact, I think this is part of hell -- you have to adopt these four teams and watch their games as you listen to a looped recording of Bill Russell's laugh mixed in with Yoko Ono music and no-longer-timely sideline reports from Tony Siragusa. Welcome to hell.


(thanks for finding this Cordes!)

the great foods of buffalo, ny.

Every time i go home for a weekend I remember what great food Buffalo has to offer. It makes me realize why people put up with the cold, snowy winters and horrible sports teams - the food makes everything okay (not to mention the general availability of good Canadian beers). But in particular, the Buffalo food front is remarkable. And it's not just the chicken wings either, Buffalo rocks some really awesome food chains that are only found in Western New York. Here I will pay tribute to several of these chains.

MIGHTY TACO


Besides being the go-to "hangout" for when we were doing absolutely nothing in high school (meet you at mighty? fine...), Mighty features Mexican fast food treats that make Taco Bell seem, well, shitty. The nacho cheese sauce there is amazing, and makes for a great dip for the deluxe soft-shell beef burritos that I personally prefer when ordering. They are always pushing the bounds of amazing (now they have Buffitos, burritos with buffalo chicken in them!), and I hope they will continue to be a Western New York staple for years to come. God bless you, Mighty Taco.

TED'S HOT DOGS

Gimme 2 footlongs, a fry, an onion ring, and a chocolate milkshake and I'm good to go. Ted's Hot Dogs have been around forever, and I've been dipping my french fries into their milkshakes for as long as I can remember. They cook the food RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU on glorious grills, and if you know how to do it right, you can go fill up the little ketchup cups and find a table while mom and dad grab the grub. This is another Buffalo chain that really knows how to work it. I salute you, Ted's Hot Dogs.

ANDERSON'S

Anderson's has it all - from world-renowned (and overpriced, says my dad) beef on weck, to tasty ice cream treats galore, this is the place to go if you want a tasty meal with a little dessert at the end. Or you can meet up there after baseball or softball games (but only if you win; no losers allowed). And my friend Steve used to work there. And all his brothers and sisters too. What else could you want?! Well played, Andersons.

JIM'S STEAKOUT

Last but certainly not least, is Jim's Steakout. Jim's is a little bit newer on the Buffalo fast-food awesome scene. It started as a late-night sub place, where the kitchen staff wore shirts that claimed "I see drunk people." Because it's deliciousness can break the all-so-crucial boundary of tasting good even when you're sober, Jim's has expanded exponentially in the past four years and now is serving the best chicken finger sub in the world at nine different locations around town. A trip to Buffalo is far from complete unless you eat at least 2 Jim's chicken finger subs while you're there. And I actually am on my way to complete that task right now... So God Bless you, Jim's Steakout.

Until next time, keep eating, Buffalo.

heard on my plane

"This is Jet Blue? I don't see blue anywhere!"

-little boy on my (really delayed) flight

this is how i will walk Reese this weekend

nyc prep

So I started watching NYC PREP on Bravo, which is a new reality show about teenagers that go to Prep Schools in NYC. It’s kind of like Gossip Girl. Only real. And the people aren’t as attractive. And are actually teenagers.

But, I digress. One of the kids on the show is named Sebastian, and in the first episode he said probably what will be my favorite line of the entire season:

“If you go to a good amount of parties you can hook up with anywhere between two and 16 girls a month.”
-Sebastian, 16, NYC PREP

Oh Sebastian…what a bad boy. This line made me laugh really hard and I think I actually rewinded my DVR to hear it again. I needed to make sure I had the numbers right. Between two and 16 girls? That is a really large span, Sebastian. And how do you get the number 16? You really keep a month-by-month list of hook ups? What a nerdy player.

And another thing—what constitutes a hook-up for 16 year olds these days? I mean, I’ve heard that kids are getting’ real slutty these days, but Sebastian, are you really banging 16 biddies a month? That’s pretty baller. I was impressed, but then I watched the next episode where you kissed Taylor for about 2.5 seconds and she told all her friends you guys hooked up. Now unless I missed something that happened off camera, now I understand how it is so easy for you to hook up with 2-16 girls a month.

Hooking up apparently equals a lil’ lip action. That’s not how it is on Gossip Girl! I am a little bit let down.


Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to keep watching and see if some real action goes down later - NYC PREP, Tuesdays at 10 on Bravo (←shameless plug for no apparent reason).

Feel free to post your average number of monthly hook ups to comments.

The week of the spot start

This week I used a managing technique for my fantasy baseball team that can either turn out to work really well, or make your team lose by a lot, depending on a little bit of skill and a lot of guesswork. Every day, I picked up a pitcher off the waiver wire that was going to be a starting pitcher that night. It’s called a “spot start” (or at least I call it that). Now, this tactic is sometimes used by people if they think a certain pitcher has a good matchup on a particular day, but it can also prove very detrimental if you choose wrong.

In order to keep things fresh, and give my team, Reyes the Roof, a shot at beating the mighty team Suckada’s Glock (who has been on a 6 game winning tear), I pledged to pick up a starting free-agent pitcher every day this week, no matter how good or bad a tactic it proved to be.

Let’s see how it worked out for me, day by day…

Key (this is for you, mom) :
IP = innings pitched
H = hits
ER = earned runs
BB = walks
K = strikeouts
W = win
L = loss

MONDAY
Trevor Cahill, Oakland Athletics
7 IP, 4 H, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, W
Points: 24

TUESDAY
Joel Pineiro, St. Louis Cardinals
9 IP, 2 H, 1 BB, 1 K – Complete Game Shut Out!
Points: 36

WEDNESDAY
Josh Geer, San Diego Padres
6 IP, 8 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 3 K
Points: 0

THURSDAY
Andy Pettitte, New York Yankees
3.2 IP, 7 H, 3 ER, 3 BB, 4 K
Points: -1.7

FRIDAY
Ricky Romero, Toronto Blue Jays
7 IP, 2 H, 0 ER, 1 BB, 7K, W
Points: 35

SATURDAY
Homer Bailey, Cincinnati Reds
5 IP, 3 H, 3 ER, 7 BB, 2 K, W
Points: 8

SUNDAY
Brian Tallet, Toronto Blue Jays
6 IP, 8 H, 4 ER, 6 BB, 6 K, L
Points: -3

As you can see, some of these spot starts worked out better than others, but none of the guys I picked really got killed and lost me that many points. So what’s the verdict? How did the week of spot starts turn out? Well, let’s do some 3rd grade math and find out.

If you add up how many points I got in total from my spot starters, it equals 98.3 points.

The final score of my matchup this week was 417.3 - 353.3, with Reyes the Roof coming out on top!

Since I only won by 64 points, without my spot starts I would have lost.

Therefore, the week of the spot start was a big success!
(sorry Gallen)

MJ remembered

I guess it would be a big cultural miss if I fail to mention the death of Michael Jackson. But I don’t really know what to say about it. He was a great musician and it was pretty shocking and sad news, but I don’t really have much insight into it I guess. And I feel bad joking about it.

But while everyone still has a Facebook status up that read “wearing my one sequin glove ☹”, I think this is a good time to maybe remember how we used to talk about MJ while he was still alive. Jokingly.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K Mart?
He heard boys pants were half off!

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
Because there are twenty of them.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

I know I kid, but despite the jokes it’s still very sad. We have lost a music legend. I hope his soul keeps Moonwalkin’ to Billie Jean forever.

RIP MJ

Shaq going to the Cavs

So Shaq got traded to Cleveland to play with Lebron - crazy news. They will be working together to try and elevate the game of the Cavs so maybe they can make it to the finals next year. Lebron really needed big man support, let's see if ol'Shaqman's got it in him.

In honor of this occasion, I used a website to see what it would look like if Shaq and Lebron had a baby together, lashaq:

Perez Hilton Gets Punched.

I am sure if you are familiar with both the Internet and pop culture that you’ve heard of Perez Hilton. He runs his own Hollywood gossip blog and holds very opinioned views about various celebrities, which he usually voices by taking photos of certain celebs and using Microsoft Paint to draw things such as penises and offensive words over their faces.

Though I am not an avid reader of the blog, I am familiar enough to know that Perez never really explains why he hates whichever celebrities he is attacking. Except once when Jessica Alba made some comment about not being Latino or something. That really set him off. But besides that, I haven’t seen him mention why he hates whoever he is drawing a penis on.

But the other day, Perez got his due. He was PUNCHED big time. By the manager of the Black Eyed Peas. You shouldn’t mess with them, or they’ll BOOM BOOM POW you big time, Perez.

Judging from news reports, apparently Perez was at a Toronto club and got into an argument with Fergie and will.i.am when they told him not to write about them in his blog. Then Hilton left the bar, only to be PUNCHED IN THE FACE from behind.

What really makes this story for me is the fact that in response to the situation, Perez thought to do the only reasonable thing at the time – post a tweet about it on Twitter –

"I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke."

If only by posting a request to Twitter it magically happened. Then a police report would have been filed right then. But since all you can do on Twitter is tell the world what you’re doing RIGHT NOW, all that happened was everyone knew Perez got punched.


Now that’s pretty embarrassing…

from Natascha Rosenberg

milk package design from lovelypackage.com


Milk is delicious.

a lack of focus

When I first started this blog, it was for the purposes of school, so each post was about marketing or advertising and I got a decent grade or whatever. Now when I write, it’s not for school! I can talk about anything I want to! But alas, my blog now seems to have a lack of focus.

Does that make it unreadable? I mean, when you look at successful blogs, they all seem to have a clear focus to them. Whether it be posting awkward family photos, dishing dirt on celebs, or pointing out the lame-o’s on Facebook, most blogs with a large following keep it simple and stick to their regular material. I mean, there are sports blogs, mommy blogs, and blogs about New Jersey.

So where do I fit in? What the heck should my focus be? I don’t want to limit myself, but I think maybe it’s time to figure out an identity for this here blog. So here are some ideas of what my blog could focus on:

1. Misheard Song Lyrics
A blog devoted to song lyrics that people usually don’t hear correctly—like when the Pussycat Dolls song “When I Grow Up” where they supposedly said, “I wanna have boobies.” I think that’s the wrong lyric. I may be wrong though…
Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE

2. Funny Looking Animals
A blog devoted to animals looking silly! I mean there are tons of these out there, like this:


or this:


But alas, I think other blogs already focus on stuff like this. Or at least put speech bubbles coming out of the animals’ mouths. Guess this idea’s played out… what a shame.
Potential for this blog to succeed: MILD POTENTIAL

3. Wayne’s World
What a great movie, I could really blog about it for a long, long time. Whether it be a random quote, video clip, or analysis of the extremely complicated and timeless script, there is a lot to be said about Wayne’s World. I mean we could even get into Wayne’s World 2 stuff. And the Naked Indian? Genius. I could even reach deep into my film archives and pull footage from my dad’s Wayne’s World party. Complete with extreme closeups.
Potential for this blog to succeed: IN CERTAIN CIRCLES, HUGE POTENTIAL.

4. Pop Culture Haiku
Self explanatory I guess. Pros: would make every post really easy and quick to read. Cons: would severely limit content posted to blog.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight
I hate you and your dumb show
but I like your kids.

Miss California
you really done it now, bitch.
lost your crown for reals.

Kendra is preggers.
I wonder what Hugh Hef thinks?
He is really old.

Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE.


Screw it, my blog lacks a focus and I like it. I seem to remember a television show about nothing, and it was quite successful.

funny looking animal of the week!

formal apologies made easy.

heard it babysitting

circa 9pm...

me: try to close your eyes.

val: but I can't close my eyes yet, I haven't decided what I want to dream about yet.

10 seconds pass

val: okay I got it.

:)

Things I am tired of hearing about…

Okay pop culture, we know that sometimes you take certain people or events and just go nuts with it, but sometimes you take things a little too far, even for me. And I’m not the type that hates American Idol and all it’s hysteria; I even read Entertainment Weekly to keep up on all the news, and sometimes pick up an In Touch as well. But I’ve found that lately I’m really starting to get tired of hearing about a few topics…


1. Jon and Kate Plus Eight + Marital Woes
Whatever.Who cares? Did he cheat? Who knows. Is she a verbally abusive wife? Maybe. Have I ever seen their dumb show? Not a chance. And I’m sick of having to see the two of them and their motley crew every time I open a magazine. In fact, I’m sick of people with 8 children in general (that means you, Octomom). Why are you forcing your children to not only suffer with your miserable personalities and marital woes but also do it on national television? And why is everyone so fascinated by it? I’m so sick of hearing about what a bitch she is, how he is cheating on her, and what the future will be for their dumb show. I wish their show was like Idol so we could vote them off. Peace.

2. Brad and Angelina gossip
Again, who cares? Apparently Brad has made “SECRET TELEPHONE CALLS TO JEN,” is “WEARING HER PRESENT – A NECKLACE,” and “IS SICK OF TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE ANGELINA’S ON A MOVIE SET.” Honestly, I doubt the majority of these dumb stories are true. Like the time one of the sleazy mags showed a photo of Brad carrying Maddox with the caption, “Brad looks really tired hanging out with the kids all day.” Guess what sleazy magazines? People get tired. Especially when you have a bunch of kids. And you’re a movie star. And everywhere you go you have to dodge weird people with cameras taking photos of you looking tired with your kids. Peace.


3. Miley Cyrus
Girl just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s just because I’m tired of hearing about her all the time. She really hasn’t done anything that warrants being followed so closely by the media…I mean sure, Hannah Montana was big, and then she went all teen risqué photo-sharing on us for a while, but now what’s up? Nothing really. She’s got some country song “Climbin’” the charts, but I don’t think we need to talk about her as much as we do. Honestly, just give me some more Jonas Zac Ephron Robert Pattinson beer instead. Peace.

4. Project Runway’s Legal Woes
Networks fought over the show. Whatever I don’t want to hear more about it. It’s bad enough that you’ve been keeping this great show from me because of a stupid legal battle, now don’t make me read about said battle in thoughtless magazines like Entertainment Weekly. Just show me pretty dresses and crazy designers. And Tim Gunn. Lots of Tim Gunn. Make it work. Peace.

The wrath of mothers as consumers

I was just talking to my co-worker about a problem she’s having with Bank of America. They refuse to refund money (over $100) to her account from charges due to overdrawing, although the bank was the party at fault since they transferred money from her account without being asked to.

Hearing her talk on the phone and get more and more frustrated with the bank representative who obviously does not know how to deliver good customer service (which leads to bad word-of-mouth like this blog post), made me suggest something to my friend—you should have my mom call that bank.

It’s true. My mom has a way of getting companies/institutions to right their mistakes and treat you as you should be treated. I always know if I’m in too deep with horrible customer care representatives that all it will take is a phone call and I will get some serious reinforcement on my side.

For example, last year I was a senior at Ithaca College, about to start my final semester at the school that I had paid many thousands of dollars to already, yet I found myself at odds talking to a Financial Aid representative about my financial aid package. Apparently I was not getting a lot of money that I was supposed to get. And this was not going to bode well (i.e. I was not going to have any money to buy food). So I enlisted my mom for help. Who knows if it is the natural motherly instinct to stand up for her child, or just another natural instinct she possesses – being a fierce knowledgeable customer - but my mom got the job done.

In no less than an hour I received a call from my mother. During this time, she had not only called the Financial Aid Office, but also gotten on the phone with Larry Chambers (the head honcho of the Office who no one ever would think really existed if he didn’t sign all fancy FinAid communications from the college), and received both an apology and a refund of the monies owed to us. I don’t know what was said, but I was glad I was not on Larry’s end of the phone call. And one thing was for sure, I was glad I had my mom on my side.

It’s true, my mom knows how to get your way as a consumer, which is a great trait to have. She told me of a time at the Bon-Ton when they never would take her coupons and she said to the sales lady, “They always send me these coupons in the mail, but never let me use them.” Boom. The lady let her use it. Even though she wasn’t supposed to.

I was at a Yankees game about a month ago that was rained out…or so I thought when I left the stadium. They ended up playing after a 2-hour rain delay. Their policy is that you won’t get your money back if you leave and then the game is actually played. My mom told me to write an email to the Yankees anyways and explain the situation, because “Who knows? Maybe they’ll give you something. Can’t hurt to try.” I’m still waiting on a response from the Yanks, but we’ll see what happens.

Anyways, to draw a point from this—yes, my mom is great at getting her way as a consumer. But this is also a bigger lesson in marketing, and something I just read about in the great book The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell. Companies realize that much of what they sell is based on word-of-mouth. A restaurant can have great food and service, but still be empty because no one knows about it. People need to pass the word on in order for something to catch on, people Gladwell refers to as “connectors.” And companies also know that if these connectors are upset about how a company treats them, they are just as likely to pass on negative word-of-mouth to their friends and families. This puts us as consumers in a pretty good spot.

Maybe we should all act a little more like my mom. Because after all, if you take a second to let a company know how you really feel, maybe you’ll get something great out of it. In the great words of my mother, it “can’t hurt to try.”

cute

A study of my own “whiteness”

So there is a website called “Stuff White People Like.” It is a pretty funny site that details things that white people supposedly like, featuring things such as “Ugly Sweater Parties,” and “Unpaid Internships.”

I was perusing this site today, which currently lists 125 things that white people like, and I thought to myself – “Wow. I like a lot of these things. Does that mean I’m really white?” Although I know the answer is a resounding YES, let’s be a little more scientific about this.

Today I went through all the posts on this site systematically and rated from 1-5 how much I associate with that characteristic (1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest). Then I averaged my scores to get a final score on the 1-5 scale to see how much there is in common between what “white people like” and what I like. Using this complicated first grader’s statistical analysis I can come to a final conclusion of just how “white” I am.

As I went down the 125 items posted to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, I did seem to rate highly on many of them, especially certain sections like:
#38-43: Arrested Development, Netflix, Apple Products, Indie Music, Sushi, Plays

or…

#49-53: Vintage, Irony, Living By Water, Sarah Silverman, dogs

or even…

#102-107: Children’s Games as Adults, Sweaters, Girls with Bangs, Unpaid Internships, Facebook, Self Aware Hip Hop References.

Based on these results, I began thinking to myself “Wowzers, I am really white!” But when it came down to averaging my results, I scored a 3.456. This means on a 1-5 scale of white-personess, I score only a little bit higher than average, which kind of surprised me. Maybe it was because of my aversion to coffee, or the fact that I don’t hate my parents. Or because I scored very low on categories such as: vegetarianism, not having a tv, and natural medicine.

One thing is for sure—there was absolutely no point to this exercise. I will end this post with the entire list from Stuff White People Like, in case you’d like to find your own average using your copy and paste skills, along with an excel spreadsheet. Post your score to comments. And good luck!

1. Bob Marley
2. Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
3. Mad Men
4. Moleskine Notebooks
5. Funny or Ironic Tattoos
6. Taking a Year Off
7. Sea Salt
8. Ugly Sweater Parties
9. Political Prisoners
10. Black music that black people don't lister to anymore
11. Promising to Learn a New Language
12. America
13. Halloween
14. Hummus
15. Pea Coats
16. Frisbee Sports
17. The Onion
18. Appearing to enjoy Classical Music
19. Self Aware Hip Hop References
20. Facebook
21. Unpaid Internships
22. Girls with Bangs
23. Sweaters
24. Children's Games as Adults
25. Being Offended
26. Bumper Stickers
27. Grammar
28. The Ivy League
29. Scarves
30. New Balance Shoes
31. Rugby
32. Free healthcare
33. Music Piracy
34. Book Deals
35. San Francisco
36. Dinner Parties
37. St. Patrick's Day
38. Having gay friends
39. Outdoor performance clothes
40. shorts
41. the wire
42. t shirts
43. Bad memories of high school
44. hating corporations
45. graduate school
46. the idea of soccer
47. modern furniture
48. multi lingual children
49. musical comedy
50. bottles of water
51. threatening to move to canada
52. oscar parties
53. gentrification
54. study abroad
55. being the only white person around
56. difficult break ups
57. mos def
58. michel gondry
59. standing still at concerts
60. divorce
61. co ed sports
62. recycling
63. expensive sandwiches
64. knowing what's best for poor people
65. bicycles
66. toyota prius
67. natural medicine
68. japan
69. juno
70. lawyers
71. apologies
72. kitchen gadgets
73. dogs
74. Sarah Silverman
75. Living by water
76. irony
77. vintage
78. whole foods and grocery co ops
79. arts degrees
80. the Sunday new york times
81. asian fusion food
82. public radio
83. plays
84. sushi
85. indie music
86. apple products
87. netflix
88. arrested development
89. renovations
90. breakfast places
91. the daily show/colbert report
92. architecture
93. marajuana
94. vegan/vegetariansim
95. snowboarding
96. wrigley field
97. 80s night
98. not having a tv
99. marathons
100. manhattan
101. david sedaris
102. wine
103. microbreweries
104. having two last names
105. writer's workshops
106. being an expert on YOUR culture
107. traveling
108. awareness
109. hating their parents
110. "gifted" children
111. yoga
112. having black friends
113. tea
114. non-profit organizations
115. asian girls
116. wes anderson movies
117. making you feel bad about not going outside
118. barack obama
119. diversity
120. organic food
121. farmers markets
122. assists
123. film festivals
124. religions that their parents don't belong to
125. coffee

A study of over-saturation...

...at the Golden Gate Bridge














conclusion: I love people who over-saturate

Ellen's Commencement Speech at Tulane

Lookin’ for a summer ANTHEM

Summer’s on it’s way (finally), and we need a great summer anthem to play alongside our mayhem this year. What will it be WHAT WILL IT BE? Since I am slightly bored at the moment, I am going to try to guess what will be this summer’s breakout SINGLE, based on previous summer megahits, various online sources as well as my fine taste for seasonal anthems.

Let’s start by assessing previous summer anthems…
2008
Bleedin’ Love - Leona Lewis
I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
Forever – Chris Brown

Okay so we got some lesbian fantasies, broken hearts, and lady beaters in this crew.
What made them summer anthems: Hooks that get stuck in your head, drivin’ BEATS

2004
The Reason – Hoobastank
If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys
Yeah! – Usher ft. Lil Jon & Ludacris

This year was highlighted by angst ridden, emotionally filled songs. And Lil Jon saying OKKKAYY.
What made them summer anthems: Well, YEAH is danceable, and easy to scream along to, Alicia Keys is just good in general, and Hoobastank… can’t explain it, but I do remember driving around in a car full of people screaming the chorus to this song.

2000
Try Again – Aaliyah
It’s Gonna Be Me – NSYNC
The Real Slim Shady – Eminem

Aaliyah (RIP) with a song to remind you never to give up, Slim with his first big hit, and NSYNC just being NSYNC.
What made them summer anthems: They all have a great ability to stay in your head for a while. Steven King calls it an “ear worm.” I call it “ahh get this song out of my head!”

1996 (takin’ it back to the 90’s, kid)
C'mon N' Ride It (The Train) - Quad City Dj's
All Coming Back to Me Now – Celine Dion
California Love – Tupac

A hip-hop legend, Celine singin’ her heart out and everyone else ridin’ the train. Some diversity up in this summer. But that’s the way they did it back in 96.
What made them summer anthems: Once again, the ear worm factor.

Okay, now that we’ve taken a look back at some old summer ANTHEMS, let’s see what people are saying online about this summer’s go to songs:

On one message board, many respondents favored “anything by Lady GaGa”

Top40charts.com lists the current top 3 singles as: Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas), Poker Face (Lady GaGa), and Blame It (Jamie Foxx).

My friend Dan’s pick is 1901 by Phoenix… and since he told me this, I also read in Entertainment Weekly that it is one of their picks for big summer jam as well.

My friend Anthony's pick is an Eminem song from the album he just dropped... I think some good candidates are "We Made You" and "Old Time's Sake."

Phew, doing that research was exhausting! Now I think I am equipped to predict what songs will be big this summer. And sorry, Lady GaGa I would rather be wrong than choose your song, even if all the online buzz is about you.

My 3 Predictions for Summer Hits are…

1. BOOM BOOM POW – BLACK EYED PEAS
Based on summer hits from previous years, it seems as if ear worm songs that stick with you fare really well in the summertime. And if I know anything about the Black Eyed Peas, they’ll give you beats that stay with you for months (Don’t Phunk with My Heart, Let’s get it Started in Ha!)… And there is also a lot of Internet buzz around this song, AND it currently sits at #1 on the charts. If there’s a better formula for a summer hit, somebody tell me cause I’m missin’ it!

2. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH!3
It’s just so freaking catchy! WOO’s? In the chorus? Sign me up.

3. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston
Okay, I’ll be honest this one is just because I loved Beautiful Girls so much. It probably has a slim chance of being a summer hit, but maybe, just maybe since so many people read my blog, I will start an epidemic.

Alright, so the chances that any of my predictions will be THE BIG SUMMER HIT 2009 are slim, but who cares. I tried my darndest.

Leave your predictions in the comments section. If you’re right I’ll buy you a candy bar in 2010 (good luck choosing, mom).

just a tuesday morning...

My day started off with a recording session for a creative team's concept called "poetry slam." Basically I got to spit some Time Warner Cable Business Class rhymes into a mic, wearing a headset and everything.

This is why I work in advertising

single ladies dance for trident

see me? i'm the 4th one on the right...

be happy

A few years ago on spring break when Hoover wasn't going wild, me, Hoov, and Bec were laying on the beach shooting the shit and one of us asked, "In ten years, what is the one thing you want to have?"

Hoover said she wanted to be a doctor.

Becca said she wanted a husband that she loved.

I said I just wanted to be happy.


I think my answer still holds true.

Fantastic News!

My girl Beyonce is performing at Madison Square Garden on June 21st, so naturally I was on Ticketmaster perusing the ticket selection when I came across THE GREATEST DEAL EVER.

If I were to buy the "I am...Beyonce" Meet and Greet VIP Package, I would get:

Front Row Ticket
Meet & Greet with Beyoncé
Photo with Beyoncé
Special entrance for VIP's
Limited Edition Deréon bag (including autographed tour book & more)
Collectible laminate and/or wristband
One year membership to the official Beyoncé fan club
Onsite event management staff




WHAT?!!!!!!! This is available? This is a dream. And it's all for the low price of $1,079. I wish I knew about this 10 years ago, I would have started saving...

Now I just need to raise $2,158 (I just used a calculator to do that math...sad) so me and my friend Kate Ward can live out our dream and meet Beyonce. The one year membership to the official Beyonce fan club ain't too shabby either...

Donations are greatly appreciated to help me reach my goal. Thank you.

Fantasy Fishing

Okay, so check it. To feed my gambling addiction in an easily accessible, cheap way, I partake in a lot of online competitions. Some, like Fantasy Baseball, or ESPN’s STREAK FOR THE CASH, are common, every day games. Others, like my Fantasy Fishing team, are not. But every month or so I get an email from fantasyfishing.com to set up my “lineup” for this week’s tournament. I just got one such email about the upcoming fishing event at BEAVER LAKE (cue childish giggles from me).

Anyways, the reason I signed up for Fantasy Fishing in the first place is twofold:
1. you can win $
2. it’s free

I also read about how last year the grand prize winner was some housewife who had no clue about who’s who in fishing. This woman was my inspiration. Someone who made a crapload of money by playing a free game and blindly guessing which fishermen will win at lakes you’ve never heard of? That’s my dream. So I set out to become the next ignorant Fantasy Fishing contestant who would change their life forever by picking Fishermen with the coolest names.

So far my “squad” has competed in two events, and I stand at an impressive 25,000th place. But I have faith. All it takes is one set of great picks, and there I am with a sack full of cash and a big smile on my face.

Here’s how Fantasy Fishing works:
You pick who you think will be the Top 10 fishermen in the next event. You then must rank the order in which you think they will finish. You get points if someone you have is in the top ten, you get more points if they finish in the place you predicted.
Then, if you have the most points for that tournament, YOU WIN $$!!!

I guess there’s no real point to this post except to urge you all to blindly choose your own fishermen and win some money:

Fantasyfishing.com

Who knows, maybe you’ll be the next housewife to strike it rich?

Big movies coming out that I am not excited about

There are a lot of HUGE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS coming out soon. And I’m not really excited about any of them. Why? I don’t like Star Trek, I am not a boy, and I don’t love action movies. Why was Sex in the City so successful last year? People like me. Someone looking for a summer movie to watch where nothing explodes and there are no car chases. I mean, I’m not a total loser. I do like some action in my movies, but it’s not what keeps me up at night excited to go to a show.

If you haven’t already realized by reading previous posts, I have the mind of a 75 year old. I hate loud noises, crowds, being cold, waiting in rain delays at baseball games, waiting in line for water slides, and going down the water slides once I get to the front of the line. I enjoy silly looking animals, gambling, romantic comedies, golfing and drinking. Move me to a retirement community in Florida and I’ll be happy.

Okay now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about summer movies!

BIG ACTION MOVIES that I don’t want to see this summer:

Star Trek
To everyone who is excited about this movie—trekkies, non-trekkies, whoever you are, I’m sorry. I just don’t really care about it. I’m glad that you are all excited. And that this movie is getting great reviews, I’m sure it is a good movie and would be alright if I actually sat down and watched it. But, it’s just not making me want to run to the movie theatre on opening day (although some people I know are quite excited – Looby shout-out). I never watched the show, never really wanted to, never have seen Star Wars either (okay I’m ready for the ridicule), and although JJ Abrams does good work, just not crazy about seeing this one.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Outer Space, Explosions, the Unknown




Terminator Salvation
The only thing about this movie I was interested in (Bale’s crazy yell-fest at a Production guy) I’ve already experienced FOR FREE just by listening online. I’ll save my money here and spend it on an early bird dinner!
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Robots, Mean people, Explosions




X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Nope, never saw the other X-men movies. I did used to like Wolverine when my brother followed X-men when we were little. But do I want to know his mutant backstory? No thanks, I’ll pass. He needs to cut his fingernails. It’s not hygienic.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Mean People, Fighting, Explosions




Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Yep, same rings true here—never saw the first one. And I am not a boy. I think that pretty much rules out me seeing this one. Ladies who like Transformers, I’m not dissing y’all. You’re just not the primary market of this flick. But if you enjoy the bots, and the Fox, all the more power to ya. I hope Edibus Prime or whatever his name is lays down some more great quotes in this sequel.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Robots, Explosions, Mean robots




G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra
Again, I am not a boy. I did not grow up playing with G.I. Joes, although I did enjoy the cartoon shorts where G.I. Joe’s taught me things I didn’t know. Like not to talk to strangers. And I still don’t. That’s about all the use I had for G.I. Joe. And that’s half the battle.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Fighting, Mean People, Explosions




What I’d rather see this summer:
Julie and Julia – Meryl Streep and Amy Adams together again after their great DOUBT performances, only this time they are telling the story of the wonderful cook, Julia Childs! It is going to be a marvelous time!

Up – An animated feature about an old man being carried away by balloons – hmm…an old man? Balloons? Sounds right up my alley.

The Boat that Rocked – Phillip Seymour Hoffman stars in this “period comedy about an illegal radio station in the North Seas in the 1960’s.” Sounds like it has potential to me. And this is the answer to why he wore that skull cap during awards season—his hair was long and silly looking for this film.

Away We Go – I think this is the movie I’m most excited about this summer. It’s got John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph as a traveling couple who are expecting their first child. Directed by Sam Mendes, the preview looks amazing. Check it.


Bruno – Where do you go after Borat? Bruno. Sascha Baron Cohen is back with a different hilarious character, only this time he’s a homosexual fashionista. If the preview is a good indication, this movie will be full of just as much mayhem as Borat, if not more. And how did Bruno really get into boot camp? Seriously.

Funny People – Judd Apatow’s latest, but this one seems to be a little more serious. But still funny. Starring Adam Sandler as a terminally ill stand up comedian who suddenly becomes un-terminally ill, this one looks like it’s going to be great. Great support cast of Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill and the always funny Leslie Mann.

500 Days of Summer – Romantic comedy woooo! With the kid formerly known as the kid from Third Rock from the Sun (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Zooey Deschanel. Don’t know much else except that I wanna see it!

Action movies that I AM interested in seeing (weird, I know):
Inglorious Basterds – Tarantino’s new one starring Brad Pitt. He plays Lt. Aldo Raine who rounds up a crew of Jewish-American soldiers to kill some Nazis in France during WWII. I think it’s going to be absolutely insane. I don’t know if I’ll like it, but let’s give it a shot. (Interesting note – all the Jewish American soldiers in this movie are played by Jewish American actors)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – It’s Harry Potter! Come on, I shouldn’t have to explain this. If nothing else, just because Hoover will shame me if I don’t.

Land of the Lost – I don’t recall watching this show as a child, and I’m not super excited by the movie, but I guess I’ll check it out. Will Ferrell is in it and he’s usually a good time. I’m a bit weary about the Dinosaurs and the Unknown though… might be a game time decision.

Public Enemies – Johnny Depp and Christian Bale in a flick about American gangster John Dillinger being stalked by the feds in the 1930s. Should be pretty awesome.

Chick Flicks I am embarrassed to say I will probably see this summer:
Ghost of Girlfriends Past – my boy Matteo. Hope the shirt comes off.

The Proposal – Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds. I’m skeptical, but a sucker for those rom-coms.

The Ugly Truth – Katherine Heigl, but more importantly, Gerard Butler. Looks stupid, just the way I like my movies! I bet they end up together in the end. Gosh I’m a good predictor…

The most ridiculous movie coming out this summer:
Final Destination: Death Trip 3D – No explanation needed.

Welp, I guess that’s it about it for my summer movie round-up! If you like explosions, mean people or robots, keep your eyes peeled for all these actions flicks coming out. But if you’re like me, may as well wait for a nice double rom-com feature at the drive-in, grab your man (who will rather be watching Transformers), and watch the love unfold.

BONUS MOVIE: Obsessed, starring Beyonce. I gotta watch that one soon. She’s my girl.

Billy Mays for ESPN360

Great spots for ESPN 360 with the great Billy Mays!

"I'm not that strong a reader..."