a lack of focus

When I first started this blog, it was for the purposes of school, so each post was about marketing or advertising and I got a decent grade or whatever. Now when I write, it’s not for school! I can talk about anything I want to! But alas, my blog now seems to have a lack of focus.

Does that make it unreadable? I mean, when you look at successful blogs, they all seem to have a clear focus to them. Whether it be posting awkward family photos, dishing dirt on celebs, or pointing out the lame-o’s on Facebook, most blogs with a large following keep it simple and stick to their regular material. I mean, there are sports blogs, mommy blogs, and blogs about New Jersey.

So where do I fit in? What the heck should my focus be? I don’t want to limit myself, but I think maybe it’s time to figure out an identity for this here blog. So here are some ideas of what my blog could focus on:

1. Misheard Song Lyrics
A blog devoted to song lyrics that people usually don’t hear correctly—like when the Pussycat Dolls song “When I Grow Up” where they supposedly said, “I wanna have boobies.” I think that’s the wrong lyric. I may be wrong though…
Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE

2. Funny Looking Animals
A blog devoted to animals looking silly! I mean there are tons of these out there, like this:


or this:


But alas, I think other blogs already focus on stuff like this. Or at least put speech bubbles coming out of the animals’ mouths. Guess this idea’s played out… what a shame.
Potential for this blog to succeed: MILD POTENTIAL

3. Wayne’s World
What a great movie, I could really blog about it for a long, long time. Whether it be a random quote, video clip, or analysis of the extremely complicated and timeless script, there is a lot to be said about Wayne’s World. I mean we could even get into Wayne’s World 2 stuff. And the Naked Indian? Genius. I could even reach deep into my film archives and pull footage from my dad’s Wayne’s World party. Complete with extreme closeups.
Potential for this blog to succeed: IN CERTAIN CIRCLES, HUGE POTENTIAL.

4. Pop Culture Haiku
Self explanatory I guess. Pros: would make every post really easy and quick to read. Cons: would severely limit content posted to blog.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight
I hate you and your dumb show
but I like your kids.

Miss California
you really done it now, bitch.
lost your crown for reals.

Kendra is preggers.
I wonder what Hugh Hef thinks?
He is really old.

Potential for this blog to succeed: SLIM TO NONE.


Screw it, my blog lacks a focus and I like it. I seem to remember a television show about nothing, and it was quite successful.

funny looking animal of the week!

formal apologies made easy.

heard it babysitting

circa 9pm...

me: try to close your eyes.

val: but I can't close my eyes yet, I haven't decided what I want to dream about yet.

10 seconds pass

val: okay I got it.

:)

Things I am tired of hearing about…

Okay pop culture, we know that sometimes you take certain people or events and just go nuts with it, but sometimes you take things a little too far, even for me. And I’m not the type that hates American Idol and all it’s hysteria; I even read Entertainment Weekly to keep up on all the news, and sometimes pick up an In Touch as well. But I’ve found that lately I’m really starting to get tired of hearing about a few topics…


1. Jon and Kate Plus Eight + Marital Woes
Whatever.Who cares? Did he cheat? Who knows. Is she a verbally abusive wife? Maybe. Have I ever seen their dumb show? Not a chance. And I’m sick of having to see the two of them and their motley crew every time I open a magazine. In fact, I’m sick of people with 8 children in general (that means you, Octomom). Why are you forcing your children to not only suffer with your miserable personalities and marital woes but also do it on national television? And why is everyone so fascinated by it? I’m so sick of hearing about what a bitch she is, how he is cheating on her, and what the future will be for their dumb show. I wish their show was like Idol so we could vote them off. Peace.

2. Brad and Angelina gossip
Again, who cares? Apparently Brad has made “SECRET TELEPHONE CALLS TO JEN,” is “WEARING HER PRESENT – A NECKLACE,” and “IS SICK OF TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE ANGELINA’S ON A MOVIE SET.” Honestly, I doubt the majority of these dumb stories are true. Like the time one of the sleazy mags showed a photo of Brad carrying Maddox with the caption, “Brad looks really tired hanging out with the kids all day.” Guess what sleazy magazines? People get tired. Especially when you have a bunch of kids. And you’re a movie star. And everywhere you go you have to dodge weird people with cameras taking photos of you looking tired with your kids. Peace.


3. Miley Cyrus
Girl just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s just because I’m tired of hearing about her all the time. She really hasn’t done anything that warrants being followed so closely by the media…I mean sure, Hannah Montana was big, and then she went all teen risqué photo-sharing on us for a while, but now what’s up? Nothing really. She’s got some country song “Climbin’” the charts, but I don’t think we need to talk about her as much as we do. Honestly, just give me some more Jonas Zac Ephron Robert Pattinson beer instead. Peace.

4. Project Runway’s Legal Woes
Networks fought over the show. Whatever I don’t want to hear more about it. It’s bad enough that you’ve been keeping this great show from me because of a stupid legal battle, now don’t make me read about said battle in thoughtless magazines like Entertainment Weekly. Just show me pretty dresses and crazy designers. And Tim Gunn. Lots of Tim Gunn. Make it work. Peace.

The wrath of mothers as consumers

I was just talking to my co-worker about a problem she’s having with Bank of America. They refuse to refund money (over $100) to her account from charges due to overdrawing, although the bank was the party at fault since they transferred money from her account without being asked to.

Hearing her talk on the phone and get more and more frustrated with the bank representative who obviously does not know how to deliver good customer service (which leads to bad word-of-mouth like this blog post), made me suggest something to my friend—you should have my mom call that bank.

It’s true. My mom has a way of getting companies/institutions to right their mistakes and treat you as you should be treated. I always know if I’m in too deep with horrible customer care representatives that all it will take is a phone call and I will get some serious reinforcement on my side.

For example, last year I was a senior at Ithaca College, about to start my final semester at the school that I had paid many thousands of dollars to already, yet I found myself at odds talking to a Financial Aid representative about my financial aid package. Apparently I was not getting a lot of money that I was supposed to get. And this was not going to bode well (i.e. I was not going to have any money to buy food). So I enlisted my mom for help. Who knows if it is the natural motherly instinct to stand up for her child, or just another natural instinct she possesses – being a fierce knowledgeable customer - but my mom got the job done.

In no less than an hour I received a call from my mother. During this time, she had not only called the Financial Aid Office, but also gotten on the phone with Larry Chambers (the head honcho of the Office who no one ever would think really existed if he didn’t sign all fancy FinAid communications from the college), and received both an apology and a refund of the monies owed to us. I don’t know what was said, but I was glad I was not on Larry’s end of the phone call. And one thing was for sure, I was glad I had my mom on my side.

It’s true, my mom knows how to get your way as a consumer, which is a great trait to have. She told me of a time at the Bon-Ton when they never would take her coupons and she said to the sales lady, “They always send me these coupons in the mail, but never let me use them.” Boom. The lady let her use it. Even though she wasn’t supposed to.

I was at a Yankees game about a month ago that was rained out…or so I thought when I left the stadium. They ended up playing after a 2-hour rain delay. Their policy is that you won’t get your money back if you leave and then the game is actually played. My mom told me to write an email to the Yankees anyways and explain the situation, because “Who knows? Maybe they’ll give you something. Can’t hurt to try.” I’m still waiting on a response from the Yanks, but we’ll see what happens.

Anyways, to draw a point from this—yes, my mom is great at getting her way as a consumer. But this is also a bigger lesson in marketing, and something I just read about in the great book The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell. Companies realize that much of what they sell is based on word-of-mouth. A restaurant can have great food and service, but still be empty because no one knows about it. People need to pass the word on in order for something to catch on, people Gladwell refers to as “connectors.” And companies also know that if these connectors are upset about how a company treats them, they are just as likely to pass on negative word-of-mouth to their friends and families. This puts us as consumers in a pretty good spot.

Maybe we should all act a little more like my mom. Because after all, if you take a second to let a company know how you really feel, maybe you’ll get something great out of it. In the great words of my mother, it “can’t hurt to try.”

cute

A study of my own “whiteness”

So there is a website called “Stuff White People Like.” It is a pretty funny site that details things that white people supposedly like, featuring things such as “Ugly Sweater Parties,” and “Unpaid Internships.”

I was perusing this site today, which currently lists 125 things that white people like, and I thought to myself – “Wow. I like a lot of these things. Does that mean I’m really white?” Although I know the answer is a resounding YES, let’s be a little more scientific about this.

Today I went through all the posts on this site systematically and rated from 1-5 how much I associate with that characteristic (1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest). Then I averaged my scores to get a final score on the 1-5 scale to see how much there is in common between what “white people like” and what I like. Using this complicated first grader’s statistical analysis I can come to a final conclusion of just how “white” I am.

As I went down the 125 items posted to stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, I did seem to rate highly on many of them, especially certain sections like:
#38-43: Arrested Development, Netflix, Apple Products, Indie Music, Sushi, Plays

or…

#49-53: Vintage, Irony, Living By Water, Sarah Silverman, dogs

or even…

#102-107: Children’s Games as Adults, Sweaters, Girls with Bangs, Unpaid Internships, Facebook, Self Aware Hip Hop References.

Based on these results, I began thinking to myself “Wowzers, I am really white!” But when it came down to averaging my results, I scored a 3.456. This means on a 1-5 scale of white-personess, I score only a little bit higher than average, which kind of surprised me. Maybe it was because of my aversion to coffee, or the fact that I don’t hate my parents. Or because I scored very low on categories such as: vegetarianism, not having a tv, and natural medicine.

One thing is for sure—there was absolutely no point to this exercise. I will end this post with the entire list from Stuff White People Like, in case you’d like to find your own average using your copy and paste skills, along with an excel spreadsheet. Post your score to comments. And good luck!

1. Bob Marley
2. Hating People Who Wear Ed Hardy
3. Mad Men
4. Moleskine Notebooks
5. Funny or Ironic Tattoos
6. Taking a Year Off
7. Sea Salt
8. Ugly Sweater Parties
9. Political Prisoners
10. Black music that black people don't lister to anymore
11. Promising to Learn a New Language
12. America
13. Halloween
14. Hummus
15. Pea Coats
16. Frisbee Sports
17. The Onion
18. Appearing to enjoy Classical Music
19. Self Aware Hip Hop References
20. Facebook
21. Unpaid Internships
22. Girls with Bangs
23. Sweaters
24. Children's Games as Adults
25. Being Offended
26. Bumper Stickers
27. Grammar
28. The Ivy League
29. Scarves
30. New Balance Shoes
31. Rugby
32. Free healthcare
33. Music Piracy
34. Book Deals
35. San Francisco
36. Dinner Parties
37. St. Patrick's Day
38. Having gay friends
39. Outdoor performance clothes
40. shorts
41. the wire
42. t shirts
43. Bad memories of high school
44. hating corporations
45. graduate school
46. the idea of soccer
47. modern furniture
48. multi lingual children
49. musical comedy
50. bottles of water
51. threatening to move to canada
52. oscar parties
53. gentrification
54. study abroad
55. being the only white person around
56. difficult break ups
57. mos def
58. michel gondry
59. standing still at concerts
60. divorce
61. co ed sports
62. recycling
63. expensive sandwiches
64. knowing what's best for poor people
65. bicycles
66. toyota prius
67. natural medicine
68. japan
69. juno
70. lawyers
71. apologies
72. kitchen gadgets
73. dogs
74. Sarah Silverman
75. Living by water
76. irony
77. vintage
78. whole foods and grocery co ops
79. arts degrees
80. the Sunday new york times
81. asian fusion food
82. public radio
83. plays
84. sushi
85. indie music
86. apple products
87. netflix
88. arrested development
89. renovations
90. breakfast places
91. the daily show/colbert report
92. architecture
93. marajuana
94. vegan/vegetariansim
95. snowboarding
96. wrigley field
97. 80s night
98. not having a tv
99. marathons
100. manhattan
101. david sedaris
102. wine
103. microbreweries
104. having two last names
105. writer's workshops
106. being an expert on YOUR culture
107. traveling
108. awareness
109. hating their parents
110. "gifted" children
111. yoga
112. having black friends
113. tea
114. non-profit organizations
115. asian girls
116. wes anderson movies
117. making you feel bad about not going outside
118. barack obama
119. diversity
120. organic food
121. farmers markets
122. assists
123. film festivals
124. religions that their parents don't belong to
125. coffee

A study of over-saturation...

...at the Golden Gate Bridge














conclusion: I love people who over-saturate

Ellen's Commencement Speech at Tulane

Lookin’ for a summer ANTHEM

Summer’s on it’s way (finally), and we need a great summer anthem to play alongside our mayhem this year. What will it be WHAT WILL IT BE? Since I am slightly bored at the moment, I am going to try to guess what will be this summer’s breakout SINGLE, based on previous summer megahits, various online sources as well as my fine taste for seasonal anthems.

Let’s start by assessing previous summer anthems…
2008
Bleedin’ Love - Leona Lewis
I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry
Forever – Chris Brown

Okay so we got some lesbian fantasies, broken hearts, and lady beaters in this crew.
What made them summer anthems: Hooks that get stuck in your head, drivin’ BEATS

2004
The Reason – Hoobastank
If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys
Yeah! – Usher ft. Lil Jon & Ludacris

This year was highlighted by angst ridden, emotionally filled songs. And Lil Jon saying OKKKAYY.
What made them summer anthems: Well, YEAH is danceable, and easy to scream along to, Alicia Keys is just good in general, and Hoobastank… can’t explain it, but I do remember driving around in a car full of people screaming the chorus to this song.

2000
Try Again – Aaliyah
It’s Gonna Be Me – NSYNC
The Real Slim Shady – Eminem

Aaliyah (RIP) with a song to remind you never to give up, Slim with his first big hit, and NSYNC just being NSYNC.
What made them summer anthems: They all have a great ability to stay in your head for a while. Steven King calls it an “ear worm.” I call it “ahh get this song out of my head!”

1996 (takin’ it back to the 90’s, kid)
C'mon N' Ride It (The Train) - Quad City Dj's
All Coming Back to Me Now – Celine Dion
California Love – Tupac

A hip-hop legend, Celine singin’ her heart out and everyone else ridin’ the train. Some diversity up in this summer. But that’s the way they did it back in 96.
What made them summer anthems: Once again, the ear worm factor.

Okay, now that we’ve taken a look back at some old summer ANTHEMS, let’s see what people are saying online about this summer’s go to songs:

On one message board, many respondents favored “anything by Lady GaGa”

Top40charts.com lists the current top 3 singles as: Boom Boom Pow (Black Eyed Peas), Poker Face (Lady GaGa), and Blame It (Jamie Foxx).

My friend Dan’s pick is 1901 by Phoenix… and since he told me this, I also read in Entertainment Weekly that it is one of their picks for big summer jam as well.

My friend Anthony's pick is an Eminem song from the album he just dropped... I think some good candidates are "We Made You" and "Old Time's Sake."

Phew, doing that research was exhausting! Now I think I am equipped to predict what songs will be big this summer. And sorry, Lady GaGa I would rather be wrong than choose your song, even if all the online buzz is about you.

My 3 Predictions for Summer Hits are…

1. BOOM BOOM POW – BLACK EYED PEAS
Based on summer hits from previous years, it seems as if ear worm songs that stick with you fare really well in the summertime. And if I know anything about the Black Eyed Peas, they’ll give you beats that stay with you for months (Don’t Phunk with My Heart, Let’s get it Started in Ha!)… And there is also a lot of Internet buzz around this song, AND it currently sits at #1 on the charts. If there’s a better formula for a summer hit, somebody tell me cause I’m missin’ it!

2. Don’t Trust Me – 3OH!3
It’s just so freaking catchy! WOO’s? In the chorus? Sign me up.

3. Fire Burning – Sean Kingston
Okay, I’ll be honest this one is just because I loved Beautiful Girls so much. It probably has a slim chance of being a summer hit, but maybe, just maybe since so many people read my blog, I will start an epidemic.

Alright, so the chances that any of my predictions will be THE BIG SUMMER HIT 2009 are slim, but who cares. I tried my darndest.

Leave your predictions in the comments section. If you’re right I’ll buy you a candy bar in 2010 (good luck choosing, mom).

just a tuesday morning...

My day started off with a recording session for a creative team's concept called "poetry slam." Basically I got to spit some Time Warner Cable Business Class rhymes into a mic, wearing a headset and everything.

This is why I work in advertising

single ladies dance for trident

see me? i'm the 4th one on the right...

be happy

A few years ago on spring break when Hoover wasn't going wild, me, Hoov, and Bec were laying on the beach shooting the shit and one of us asked, "In ten years, what is the one thing you want to have?"

Hoover said she wanted to be a doctor.

Becca said she wanted a husband that she loved.

I said I just wanted to be happy.


I think my answer still holds true.

Fantastic News!

My girl Beyonce is performing at Madison Square Garden on June 21st, so naturally I was on Ticketmaster perusing the ticket selection when I came across THE GREATEST DEAL EVER.

If I were to buy the "I am...Beyonce" Meet and Greet VIP Package, I would get:

Front Row Ticket
Meet & Greet with Beyoncé
Photo with Beyoncé
Special entrance for VIP's
Limited Edition Deréon bag (including autographed tour book & more)
Collectible laminate and/or wristband
One year membership to the official Beyoncé fan club
Onsite event management staff




WHAT?!!!!!!! This is available? This is a dream. And it's all for the low price of $1,079. I wish I knew about this 10 years ago, I would have started saving...

Now I just need to raise $2,158 (I just used a calculator to do that math...sad) so me and my friend Kate Ward can live out our dream and meet Beyonce. The one year membership to the official Beyonce fan club ain't too shabby either...

Donations are greatly appreciated to help me reach my goal. Thank you.

Fantasy Fishing

Okay, so check it. To feed my gambling addiction in an easily accessible, cheap way, I partake in a lot of online competitions. Some, like Fantasy Baseball, or ESPN’s STREAK FOR THE CASH, are common, every day games. Others, like my Fantasy Fishing team, are not. But every month or so I get an email from fantasyfishing.com to set up my “lineup” for this week’s tournament. I just got one such email about the upcoming fishing event at BEAVER LAKE (cue childish giggles from me).

Anyways, the reason I signed up for Fantasy Fishing in the first place is twofold:
1. you can win $
2. it’s free

I also read about how last year the grand prize winner was some housewife who had no clue about who’s who in fishing. This woman was my inspiration. Someone who made a crapload of money by playing a free game and blindly guessing which fishermen will win at lakes you’ve never heard of? That’s my dream. So I set out to become the next ignorant Fantasy Fishing contestant who would change their life forever by picking Fishermen with the coolest names.

So far my “squad” has competed in two events, and I stand at an impressive 25,000th place. But I have faith. All it takes is one set of great picks, and there I am with a sack full of cash and a big smile on my face.

Here’s how Fantasy Fishing works:
You pick who you think will be the Top 10 fishermen in the next event. You then must rank the order in which you think they will finish. You get points if someone you have is in the top ten, you get more points if they finish in the place you predicted.
Then, if you have the most points for that tournament, YOU WIN $$!!!

I guess there’s no real point to this post except to urge you all to blindly choose your own fishermen and win some money:

Fantasyfishing.com

Who knows, maybe you’ll be the next housewife to strike it rich?

Big movies coming out that I am not excited about

There are a lot of HUGE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERS coming out soon. And I’m not really excited about any of them. Why? I don’t like Star Trek, I am not a boy, and I don’t love action movies. Why was Sex in the City so successful last year? People like me. Someone looking for a summer movie to watch where nothing explodes and there are no car chases. I mean, I’m not a total loser. I do like some action in my movies, but it’s not what keeps me up at night excited to go to a show.

If you haven’t already realized by reading previous posts, I have the mind of a 75 year old. I hate loud noises, crowds, being cold, waiting in rain delays at baseball games, waiting in line for water slides, and going down the water slides once I get to the front of the line. I enjoy silly looking animals, gambling, romantic comedies, golfing and drinking. Move me to a retirement community in Florida and I’ll be happy.

Okay now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about summer movies!

BIG ACTION MOVIES that I don’t want to see this summer:

Star Trek
To everyone who is excited about this movie—trekkies, non-trekkies, whoever you are, I’m sorry. I just don’t really care about it. I’m glad that you are all excited. And that this movie is getting great reviews, I’m sure it is a good movie and would be alright if I actually sat down and watched it. But, it’s just not making me want to run to the movie theatre on opening day (although some people I know are quite excited – Looby shout-out). I never watched the show, never really wanted to, never have seen Star Wars either (okay I’m ready for the ridicule), and although JJ Abrams does good work, just not crazy about seeing this one.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Outer Space, Explosions, the Unknown




Terminator Salvation
The only thing about this movie I was interested in (Bale’s crazy yell-fest at a Production guy) I’ve already experienced FOR FREE just by listening online. I’ll save my money here and spend it on an early bird dinner!
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Robots, Mean people, Explosions




X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Nope, never saw the other X-men movies. I did used to like Wolverine when my brother followed X-men when we were little. But do I want to know his mutant backstory? No thanks, I’ll pass. He needs to cut his fingernails. It’s not hygienic.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Mean People, Fighting, Explosions




Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Yep, same rings true here—never saw the first one. And I am not a boy. I think that pretty much rules out me seeing this one. Ladies who like Transformers, I’m not dissing y’all. You’re just not the primary market of this flick. But if you enjoy the bots, and the Fox, all the more power to ya. I hope Edibus Prime or whatever his name is lays down some more great quotes in this sequel.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Robots, Explosions, Mean robots




G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra
Again, I am not a boy. I did not grow up playing with G.I. Joes, although I did enjoy the cartoon shorts where G.I. Joe’s taught me things I didn’t know. Like not to talk to strangers. And I still don’t. That’s about all the use I had for G.I. Joe. And that’s half the battle.
Things in this movie the old woman in me is weary of: Fighting, Mean People, Explosions




What I’d rather see this summer:
Julie and Julia – Meryl Streep and Amy Adams together again after their great DOUBT performances, only this time they are telling the story of the wonderful cook, Julia Childs! It is going to be a marvelous time!

Up – An animated feature about an old man being carried away by balloons – hmm…an old man? Balloons? Sounds right up my alley.

The Boat that Rocked – Phillip Seymour Hoffman stars in this “period comedy about an illegal radio station in the North Seas in the 1960’s.” Sounds like it has potential to me. And this is the answer to why he wore that skull cap during awards season—his hair was long and silly looking for this film.

Away We Go – I think this is the movie I’m most excited about this summer. It’s got John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph as a traveling couple who are expecting their first child. Directed by Sam Mendes, the preview looks amazing. Check it.


Bruno – Where do you go after Borat? Bruno. Sascha Baron Cohen is back with a different hilarious character, only this time he’s a homosexual fashionista. If the preview is a good indication, this movie will be full of just as much mayhem as Borat, if not more. And how did Bruno really get into boot camp? Seriously.

Funny People – Judd Apatow’s latest, but this one seems to be a little more serious. But still funny. Starring Adam Sandler as a terminally ill stand up comedian who suddenly becomes un-terminally ill, this one looks like it’s going to be great. Great support cast of Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill and the always funny Leslie Mann.

500 Days of Summer – Romantic comedy woooo! With the kid formerly known as the kid from Third Rock from the Sun (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Zooey Deschanel. Don’t know much else except that I wanna see it!

Action movies that I AM interested in seeing (weird, I know):
Inglorious Basterds – Tarantino’s new one starring Brad Pitt. He plays Lt. Aldo Raine who rounds up a crew of Jewish-American soldiers to kill some Nazis in France during WWII. I think it’s going to be absolutely insane. I don’t know if I’ll like it, but let’s give it a shot. (Interesting note – all the Jewish American soldiers in this movie are played by Jewish American actors)

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – It’s Harry Potter! Come on, I shouldn’t have to explain this. If nothing else, just because Hoover will shame me if I don’t.

Land of the Lost – I don’t recall watching this show as a child, and I’m not super excited by the movie, but I guess I’ll check it out. Will Ferrell is in it and he’s usually a good time. I’m a bit weary about the Dinosaurs and the Unknown though… might be a game time decision.

Public Enemies – Johnny Depp and Christian Bale in a flick about American gangster John Dillinger being stalked by the feds in the 1930s. Should be pretty awesome.

Chick Flicks I am embarrassed to say I will probably see this summer:
Ghost of Girlfriends Past – my boy Matteo. Hope the shirt comes off.

The Proposal – Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds. I’m skeptical, but a sucker for those rom-coms.

The Ugly Truth – Katherine Heigl, but more importantly, Gerard Butler. Looks stupid, just the way I like my movies! I bet they end up together in the end. Gosh I’m a good predictor…

The most ridiculous movie coming out this summer:
Final Destination: Death Trip 3D – No explanation needed.

Welp, I guess that’s it about it for my summer movie round-up! If you like explosions, mean people or robots, keep your eyes peeled for all these actions flicks coming out. But if you’re like me, may as well wait for a nice double rom-com feature at the drive-in, grab your man (who will rather be watching Transformers), and watch the love unfold.

BONUS MOVIE: Obsessed, starring Beyonce. I gotta watch that one soon. She’s my girl.

Billy Mays for ESPN360

Great spots for ESPN 360 with the great Billy Mays!

"I'm not that strong a reader..."

beautiful.
wish i was somewhere like that right now...

hang time

Nothing like the sitcom where the girl is the star of the boy's high school basketball team. So realistic.

Such a catchy song though! And I saw Anthony Anderson in American Eagle in Soho. Bang it.

Panda Fall

hehe

NBA Playoff Ads

Am I weird because when I watched this commercial yesterday I almost started crying? Probably. But it's so good...

Letter to Trojan - UPDATE!

Dear Ms. XXXXXXX,

Thank you for contacting us recently regarding Trojan Condoms and your dissatisfaction with the product's packaging.

We appreciate your bringing this matter to our attention and are concerned that our product did not meet the usual standard of quality you have come to expect from us. Your comments are important to us and provide valuable information that helps us maintain the high level of quality associated with our products.

At Church & Dwight, Co., Inc. we guarantee your satisfaction and have enclosed a refunds check for the product you purchased.

Again, thank you for taking the time and having the interest to contact us. We value your patronage and trust you will continue to purchase Church & Dwight Co., Inc. products with confidence. If you have any questions or concerns in the future, please call us.

Cordially, Thomas B. McCann
Consumer Relations Specialist

I am a little disappointed... okay, a refund is cool, but I was hoping for free condoms for life.

Oh well... lesson learned - if your condoms aren't up to par, you'll get your $ back. I bet a lot of young mothers will get their pens and envelopes out right now...

Sloths and laziness.

We have a new goal at work - to try and work a 3-toed sloth into an ad/direct mail package/anything we produce. Every time we have to pitch concepts from now on, a sloth must be used until we succeed. Look at them, come on- they are so funny:



And we even found a place where we can rent animatronic sloths for around $1,000 a week. Perfect. They also have an array of other animals, if anyone else has a similar dream of incorporating animals into your work.

Pirate Show - UPDATE

Several days ago, I posted about pirates. If you read it, you will remember that at the end of my ramblings I predicted a reality tv show featuring pirate hunters... imagine my surprise whilst reading Entertainment Weekly yesterday when I caught sight of THIS:

A new Spike TV pilot will document the U.S. Navy's efforts to combat pirates -- like those making news in the five-day standoff that culminated in Sunday's rescue of American sea captain Richard Phillips -- Variety reports. Pirate Hunters: USN, from 44 Blue Prods. (The True Story of Black Hawk Down), will focus on anti-piracy operations in the Gulf of Aden, where Phillips was taken captive by a band of Somalians. The producers will have cameras aboard warships the USS Boxer, which was on the scene for this week's standoff, and the USS San Antonio.


I would like to take this time to congratulate myself on "calling it."

Why I'm glad I don't work in a hospital...

Becca: ughhh ive had to deal with so much poop the last 2 days.
me: like actual poop?
Becca: yes.
me: hahhaha

Mad Men Desktop Icons

These are cool.



I can't figure out how to get them to replace my desktop icons though! Maybe it's cause my work computer won't let me... I'll have to try again at home. I just want my hard drive to be a Peggy icon! Is that too much to ask?!

this post is rated arggggg

Sunday, the American government rescued one of its servicemen from pirates. We shot 3 pirates down in the process. What? Pirates? Is this a movie, or have we gone back in time about 500 years?

But really, pirates are making a comeback. I mean obviously some bootlegger got a hold of all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, screened them to some sailors in Somalia, and bam! Pirates galore. Except in real life Pirate hostages/attacks/etc aren’t as cute as Johnny Depp makes them seem. Especially in this era, they don’t really fit in well with the whole international laws trend that countries and most people have been following lately.

But America will not take these Pirates lying down. It's much easier to best them while standing up. This graph, courtesy of the big.crush. tumblr, gives us an idea of how President Obama is going to deal with Pirates:


(click on graph to see full image)

Obama confirmed his position in a press conference my day dream today, saying that the United States "will not negotiate with Pirates." He might have said more, but his remarks were interrupted when a pirate in the audience stood up, removed his peg leg and hurled it at our Executive in Chief.

But in real life, the Pirates pledged to get even and have hijacked 4 more ships since Sunday's rescue. They attacked a fifth ship today with rifles and hand grenades, but failed to capture it. Meanwhile the United States is "reviewing it's options, including whether to go into pirate villages." (courtesy of ABC News). Why does this seem like it's more and more like a video game and/or summer blockbuster?

I guess only time will tell what will happen next with these Pirate hooligans and their bounties, but one thing's definite—there is going to be a Pirate reality show coming out within the next year. And it's gonna be awesome...

Letter to Trojan

You know those people who send ridiculous letters to companies and then those letters get posted to the Internet because they are absurd and funny? Well today one of my friends sent me a message that said:

Want to see what I'm doing at work?

To which I replied:
Yes.

Then I was sent this fine specimen of complaint letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

I recently purchased a box of 12 Trojan Brand Latex Condoms – Ultra Ribbed with Spermicidal Lubricant. Shortly thereafter, I realized that one of the condom wrappers inside did not actually contain a condom. The wrapper is sealed with nothing inside. I was very disappointed to learn that, although I paid for 12 condoms, I only received 11.

I am enclosing this empty, sealed wrapper for you to understand what I mean and the flap from the box in which it was enclosed. Anything you can do to remedy this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration to this matter.

Best regards,
my friend (who will remain anonymous.)

There are several reasons why I love this complaint letter. One, it involves condoms which is always funny, right?? Two, I think it's funny that since one of the condoms was missing from this twelve pack, my friend felt the need to take time out of her day to write a formal complaint to Trojan. Most people would just say "oh well," and move onto the other 11 condoms. But not my friend. She wants her money's worth. And is determined to get it.

Kudos to her.

And kudos to America. I will keep you posted on the outcome of her missing condom debacle.

World's Smallest Horse!

Ha so I read an article online about the tiniest animals in the world... My favorite was the world's tiniest horse, Thumbelina. She's so small it makes me laugh! She is only seventeen inches tall. Toddlers couldn't even ride her probably. She isn't very functional at all. But she sure is cute!



Things I would do if Thumbelina the tiny horse belonged to me:

1. Dress her up
2. Let people take photos with her for one dollar.
3. Make movies starring her.
4. Teach her how to maneuver through obstacle courses.
5. Use her as a foot rest when I am sitting in a chair

Fantasy Baseball Draft!

So I don’t know all that much about baseball. That’s why I thought it would be a great idea to join a fantasy baseball league where the entry fee is $100 per team! This is for two reasons: 1 – fantasy sport research gives me something to do during downtime at work, and 2 – I have a weird gambling problem despite the fact that I have no disposable income to feed it with. The chances of me winning this league are 1 in 10 (because there are 10 teams), but really all I am hoping for is not to embarrass myself and end up in last place.

Last night we had the draft for this league. I was really nervous and excited all at the same time! I had the fifth overall pick, not too shabby… There were so many dudes I wanted on my team, and I got some of them! I also made some picks that were questionable, based on the reaction from the guys. But its okay, I am a girl after all. And I really did just pick Mark Buehrle because his name sounds ridiculously similar to mine. But whatever.

Anyways, here is my squad I hand picked round-by-round (because everyone cares SO MUCH):

1- Jose Reyes, SS
2 – Evan Longoria, 3B
3 – Matt Holliday, OF
4 – Roy Oswalt, SP
5 – Vlad Guerrero, OF
6- A.J. Burnett, SP
7 – Derrek Lee, 1B
8 – Ryan Doumit, C
9 – Francisco Rodriguez, RP
10 – Jose Valverde, RP
11 – Dan Ugga, 2B
12 – Jhonny Peralta, SS
13 – Mark Buehrle (my guy!!!), SP
14- Xavier Nady, OF
15, Heath Bell, RP
16 – Adrian Beltre, 3B
17 – Gil Meche, SP
18 – Mike Cameron, OF
19 – Huston Street, RP
20 – Milton Bradley – OF
21 - Hiroki Kuroda, SP
22 – Joel Hanrahan, SP, RP
23 – Rickie Weeks, 2B
24 – Jose Guillen, OF
25 – Latroy Hawkins, RP (this pick was mocked and I understand why. Whatever, I can drop him…)

And there you have it! A team of winners. With a little luck and a lot of baseball playing, this could turn out to be our year.

Now I’m just countin’ down the hours til opening day!!!

Feel free to post your comments about my awesome (or crappy) draft picks. But since my mom is usually the only person to post, I don’t think there will be many comments. Ha.

five movies

I saw this thing on Facebook where people pick the 5 movies they could watch over and over and over again… I decided I would try to pick mine. A few were easy… I had to think harder about the rest –

1. A League of Their Own
“Gracefully, and grandfully…”

If you’ve read my other posts about this movie, you’ll see I’m a big fan. This is the only movie I’ll ever quote and then say, “What movie is that from?” (hint for anyone who hangs out with me). I mean, it’s got it all – humor, sports, war, romance, family, death, life, a tragic ending… I cannot get enough of this movie. But you probably never want to watch it with me, it might get irritating when I’m saying all the lines along with the characters…

2. Get Over It
“Down here we call it pocketful of ass”
One of the dumbest movies ever. And no one really knows about it, I don’t even remember how we stumbled upon it in high school, but what a find it was. And boy did we watch it a lot… haha. Gotta love Martin Short as Dr. Desmond Forest-Oats, Fine Arts CHAIR, and all that hoopla…And you can’t hate any movie that features Sisqo as a high school student named Dennis who is on stage crew. If you haven’t seen it, do it now. But just a heads up – don’t be expecting an Academy Award winner. Sometimes you just need a silly movie to get some laughs in.

3. The Notebook
“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird”
Oh man, first time I saw this movie was freshman year of college and it was a CRYFEST! People can say it’s corny or whatever they want to say, but it makes me feel something when I watch it, and it GETS ME EVERY TIME. It’s heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. And that scene where Allie visits Noah and they go on the boat, then it starts raining and they KISS and DO IT is so steamy.

Love it.

4. Love and Basketball
“All's fair in love and basketball.”
This is another sappy one, but I love it. It’s like if me and Joey Catalano were black, and fell in love in high school, then went to the same college and then dated but broke up and then he hurt his knee and then I played in the WNBA and he came to watch with our kid. Except not at all. This movie is great though, also always gets me with the sad part. Especially when she challenges him to ball for his heart. Oh man, tear factory… Maybe I’m biased because I’m a sport lover, but I think this movie’s great – also some pretty sexy scenes (strip basketball, anyone?). I’m proud to have it on my list of 5.

5. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
“You don’t need to put your P in a V right now.”
“No, I need to B my L on some T’s”

I had to throw a more recent movie onto my list, and what better one than Sarah Marshall? I think it’s so funny, and I’ve enjoyed watching it like 5 times already. And I still could go for more. It’s like your standard romantic comedy, but weirder, dirtier and in a tropical location! How much better could it get? Plus I have a weird awkward non-crush on Jason Segel, which started with this movie. Hopefully I Love You, Man will solidify this crush when I see it.

So that’s it. My five movies. Most people would look at this list and say, WORST LIST EVER. But not me. These movies could keep me entertained for many hours and many years to come…

And FYI, if the list were 6 instead of 5 – I’d throw some Wayne’s World on that fire!'

Feel free to post your fav five movies to comments...

Where the Wild Things Are - Trailer

This movie looks like its gonna be awesome!

News of the Day!

world war 2 historian

It’s time for some Madness…

The brackets are out! The brackets are out! That means one thing – lots of pools, predictions and people who know nothing about college basketball choosing random schools based on familiarity (Duke), the coolness of their name (Gonzaga), or their pretty uniforms (UNC).

I for one love choosing teams for the tournament… even though I don’t follow college basketball really throughout the season. But it’s easy right? The high seeds usually go farther for the most part, pick a couple upsets for the first few rounds and pick one Cinderella to get to the Sweet 16. Then keep it simple, stupid. Top seeds, top seeds. I mean that’s just one way of doing it. Let’s look at a few more…

The Crazy Fan Approach
Your team’s going all the way, no matter what. It’s like the kid at Binghamton picking them to go all the way, even with a first round matchup with Duke. Or the diehard Dukey picking them all the way every year just to have them lose early each time, even though they have a good squad.
The flaw to this way of picking teams – just because you love a team doesn’t mean they will go all the way. You need to throw allegiances aside when betting. I know this from being a Bills fan.

The Girl Approach
Famed throughout all the land, the girl approach to picking tournament winners is based on things that obviously only women can appreciate – attractiveness of players on certain teams, colors of uniforms or cuteness of mascots. Usually favors UNC’s baby blue uniforms, or any furry animal mascot. (***note –mascots should never be taken lightly.
The flaw to this way of picking teams – although there are various flaws to this system, like the fact that the criteria picks are based on have absolutely nothing to do with quality of basketball teams, this method is a tried and true approach and works a lot of the time. Much to the dismay of men and sports fans everywhere.

The Statistics Approach
Those who favor this approach don’t like luck. They like good, hard facts. So they won’t base their picks on anything but statistics. For instance, if a number 12 seed scores 77 points per game, usually beats opponents by more than 7 points, and has a coach that has been to the tournament at least once before, they are more likely to upset a team in the first round. So on and so forth.
The flaw to this way of picking teams - this may give you the best percentage chance of winning, but the Tournament is CRAZY and anything can happen. And you don’t get the same rush of being right when you just based all your picks on numbers…

Top Seeds, all the way to the Final Four
There are other teams that aren’t the highest seeds? Who cares… There’s a reason these teams are ranked at the top – they are better than everyone else. And there’s no way Chattanooga has a chance against UCONN. I’ll stick with the big guns, thanks.
The flaw with this system of picking teams – it’s March Madness Baby! Anything can happen, and nothing’s better than a nice Cinderella story…

Random Tandem

There is no rhyme or reason to how you pick teams, it’s all about what you feel in your bones. You’re a gambler by nature and you love the rush of writing down upsets and putting all sorts of money down on your bracket. You have an addictive personality and gamble far too much for the amount of disposable income you earn. You are me.
The flaw to this way of picking teams: you spend too much money and usually lose… but when you win – IT’S AWESOME BABY!

Good luck with your brackets, and enjoy watching some of the best basketball you’ll see all year (these college teams actually play defense! – take note, NBA)

Twitter me this?

Twitter seems to be the new technology of choice that everyone decided to write about this week (and by everyone I mean there are articles in Time Magazine, Entertainment Weekly and my cousin mentioned something about Shaq Twittering. And my mom emailed me to ask if I Twitter. Wow, I guess that is a lot of Twitter buzz for a few days). Anyways, the answer is NO, I do not twitter. I have far too many words to say to just Twitter. I’m a WRITER, with big IDEAS that can’t just be limited to the 145 or something word limit that Twitter makes you succumb to. Though I really enjoyed reading some of the celeb blog snippets that were in the articles I read about Twitter. But really, what’s the point of Twitter? Why do people want to put their random-ass thoughts on the Internets for the world to see?

Wait a minute…I gotta go…

Getcha Popcorn Ready…

Yesterday I was given a piece of news that stunned me to the core. My beloved Buffalo Bills have signed Terrell Owens, NFL’s notorious bad-boy receiver to their roster? What a weird turn of events. Buffalo isn’t really known for signing flashy, needy superstars. And the last time we housed one, he dissed Buffalo women making us happy to get him the hell out of wingtown, USA (yeah I’m talking about you, McGahee. jerkstore…) So why pick up T.O. now, right after a lengthy list of teams who DID NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM was published?

At first I was confused, then annoyed and sad. Bills, how can you do this to the fans? We don’t know what to do. And bringing in a receiver that is well known for giving his quarterbacks a hard time probably isn’t going to do wonders for young up-and-comer Trent Edward’s confidence. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder…maybe T.O. and the Bills will be a good fit.

To have a weapon like T.O. lined up across from a lesser appreciated but just as strong weapon like Lee Evans will serve to really help out Edwards with plenty of passing targets. And if Marshawn Lynch keeps up his BEAST MODE running (and stays out of jail), the Bills offense might actually be a force to reckon with this season. And with a pretty consistently strong defensive unit, and consistently amazing special teams, the Bills might really make me wanna SHOUT this season …

When I talked to my dad about the T.O. news, he talked about how the guy’s usually good all season then his attitude/etc will get a team in trouble come playoff time. My reply – the Bills never make the playoffs, so he won’t be able to do that here…but kidding aside, maybe, just maybe, the hardworking attitude of the Buffalo Bills will rub off on one Mr. Terrell Owens and every Bills fans playoff dreams will come true.

It’s still early, and I’m still digesting this crazy news, but I’ll tell you one thing – I’ve got my popcorn ready. And my beer, too.

GO BILLS

just some drawings...

From Flip Flop Flyin'. Drawings made using the Brushes application on the iPhone. Pretty cool

subway thoughts.

Sometimes I wish that I could record the thoughts I am having in my head, so I don’t have to write them down later. But that would probably involve weird machinery and privacy issues and all sorts of stuff like that and I would rather just have to write my thoughts down than have all of them saved forever…

But I digress. The reason I wanted to record my thoughts in the first place is so I could remember all the weird stuff that happens to me on subway rides that is either funny, scary, irritating or in some way entertaining enough for me to want to share with the humble readers of this blog.

Like today, on the way to work, this fully grown man was listening to his iPod and BLASTING none other than the Jonas Brothers Band. I’m not sure if he was aware that everyone else on the subway car could clearly hear the song, or if he just didn’t care, but I found it quite amusing.

I also think it’s really funny when large people try to squeeze into small spaces. I’m not discriminating against large people, nor am I expressly speaking of large people, I think it’s funny when anyone tries to fit into spaces that are too small for them. But in particular, when a large person is wearing a bubble jacket, a huge backpack and carrying two big shopping bags, it makes me giggle internally when they try to squeeze into the smallest space of seating left in the subway car. That happened today as well.

…I can’t think of anything else right now! NUTS! Too bad I can’t record my thoughts or this post would be much longer… oh and on a Debbie Downer note, something I HATE when I’m on the subway is when I am standing up and the person sitting down in front of me is getting off at the next stop but they get up as the train is stopping and act like I’m very much in their way instead of just waiting until it stops so I can let go of the handrail without falling over since I’ve been STANDING for the last 20 minutes while you sat on your ass.

Feel free to post your favorite subway moments/mishaps to comments.

back to reality

goodbye florida...


hello new jersey